tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29100952642690220922024-03-13T14:18:49.021-07:00The Scribe and MouseThe long-winded personal ramblings of a producer's assistant in Hollywood.eliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.comBlogger191125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-26542708266498772942010-12-16T13:38:00.001-08:002010-12-16T13:40:56.386-08:00Unplanned HiatusHey everyone,<br /><br />Just popping in quickly to let you know that a potentially big and important (to me) project has come up (sorry, can't really talk about it yet), and the time I would be able to devote to blogging is probably better spent focusing on writing that, instead. It won't be forever. I will return. Just don't think I've forgotten you.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-23365651977771523922010-11-24T22:34:00.000-08:002010-11-24T22:52:10.066-08:00PSA: Tangled Is Much Better Than You Think It Will BeOk, full disclosure - I work for the Walt Disney Company. That said, I work in television, and how a film does at the box office has little or no bearing on my job. I am an unabashed fan of Disney, but I don't blindly love everything they put out (I haven't enjoyed a CGI Disney animated film that wasn't made by Pixar, for example). There. That's out of the way.<br /><br />I'll start with my point - Go see <span style="font-style: italic;">Tangled</span>. Seriously. <br /><br />Now the details. Melissa and I got the chance to see a preview screening of the movie last weekend. Neither one of us was all that interested in the movie based on the trailers. I was sure it was another attempt to feel "hip" and "young," the exact kind of thing I hate in cartoons. There is no surer way to make a bad movie than to try and make something specifically for kids. Look at Pixar - kids love their movies, but they are truly aimed at adults (except maybe <span style="font-style: italic;">Cars</span>; I don't know many people over the age of 10 who got much out of that one). Kids may enjoy a hip, loud, "in your face" movie in the moment, but like everyone else, it's emotion and character that they really connect with. From what I'd been shown, <span style="font-style: italic;">Tangled</span> looked like a movie that kids would forget five minutes after they left the theater. I am here to tell you I was wrong.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Tangled</span> feels so much like a classic Disney musical that it's hard not to love every minute of it. When I first learned it would be a CGI project, I was bummed out because the hand drawn concept art had been so damn gorgeous. Well, it turns out CG (and even 3D) are used downright beautifully and I never found myself wishing it was a traditionally animated movie. The main characters are rich and lovable and the villain is a masterpiece of passive-aggression that evolves into true aggression. The two animal "sidekicks" effectively steal the show (in the best way possible). The story is a nice twist on a classic fairy tale and engaging throughout. And the songs! I enjoyed <span style="font-style: italic;">The Princess and the Frog</span>, but Randy Newman's lackluster music held it back from being a great movie. Alan Menken is in classic form. Melissa and I recently saw his adaptation of <span style="font-style: italic;">Leap of Faith</span> at the Ahmanson and were mostly disappointed. Clearly his creative efforts went into this movie. I left the theater dazzled and enchanted.<br /><br />So, if you've been watching the commercials and writing <span style="font-style: italic;">Tangled</span> off as another <span style="font-style: italic;">Shrek</span> clone that will make you cringe with every attempt to cram a catchphrase down your throat, trust me - you couldn't be further from the truth. <span style="font-style: italic;"> Tangled</span> is a kind of movie that I haven't seen from Disney (again, excluding Pixar) in a long time - Magical. Go see it. Now.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-3125806719030247752010-11-12T13:49:00.000-08:002010-11-12T14:35:22.138-08:00Keep On Truckin' (Yeah, That's the Best I Got)If your city is anything like LA (and if you live in LA, it is <span style="font-style: italic;">very much</span> like LA), then it has recently become infested with gourmet food trucks. I follow about a dozen trucks on Twitter, and if any of them are near somewhere I'm planning to be, I'll go check it out. And if you're here, you're curious what I think about them, so buckle up!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Flying Pig Truck:<br /></span><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000235.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 312px; height: 232px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000235.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>This was the first truck to catch my attention, largely because they serve pork belly sandwiches. Pork belly is what they use to make bacon, so I support it fully. After several false starts when they were supposed to be at my office (leading me to fruitlessly scour the neighborhood), I caught up with them at the Unique LA arts & crafts fair. Unfortunately, being an indoor event, the truck wasn't there, just a table. The truck and I crossed paths at the fantastic Meltdown Comics in West Hollywood.<br /><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000236.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 211px; height: 281px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000236.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000237.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 206px; height: 275px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000237.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />On the left is the aforementioned Pork Belly Bun sandwich. The flatbread is a very nice touch, and I highly recommend anything you find that uses braised pork belly. To your right is the duck taco. The flavors are somewhat Asian inspired, with a hint of Mexican fusion. In short - delicious. They use something that they call Death Sauce and I want to put it on everything I eat for the rest of my life. It's not as spicy as its name would imply, but it bursts with flavor and really compliments the food. I have been to several trucks since the Flying Pig and it remains in my top two or three. Rating - Always Visit When Nearby.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Grilled Cheese Truck:<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span>This is almost certainly the most popular truck I've encountered. I've been twice and both times waited nearly an hour in line to order (Melissa went once with her sister and apparently the line wasn't as bad, but that was a weekday). Once they were part of a food truck event on the Disney Lot where their line was twice as long as everyone else's. The second time was at the anniversary party for Noho Scooters, which is literally two blocks from my apartment (and has vintage arcade machines including Tron, and I NEVER KNEW! How does that happen?), making it the closest one of these things has ever come to home. Somehow, I've managed to avoid taking a picture of the truck itself, but here's my sandwich of choice, the Cheesy Mac and Rib:<br /><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000310.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 202px; height: 302px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000310.png" alt="" border="0" /></a>That's a grilled cheese, with mac & cheese and barbecue pork ribs. I posted this to Facebook at the time saying, "I waited an hour and a half for this, it better be the best sandwich I've ever had...you got lucky." That pretty much sums it up. It's like this truck took everything good in food and put it in one sandwich. It's greasy and probably terrible for me, but I love it. Their dessert grilled sandwich (banana and Nutella) is worth ordering, as well. Find them. Wait in line. Eat it. You're welcome. Rating - Will Go Out of My Way to Eat There<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Slice Truck:<br /></span>The Slice Truck is a pizza truck. I ate there when they came by the office as a thank you for Camp Rock 2 doing well or something. I had a good slice of pepperoni and an excellent thick slice of kind of a white pizza white heirloom tomatoes. Very good, not much to write home about. Rating - If I see them 20 feet away and was hungry, I'd go again.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Frysmith:</span><br /><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000232.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 287px; height: 214px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000232.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I've been following Frysmith for quite a while, and I ran into them at the Farmer's Market at the Americana in Glendale completely by accident. As you can see, it's cool that they run their truck on their own fry oil, which seems like both good for the environment AND good business. Good for them. I had the special, which was a Canadian specialty called a poutine. I think a poutine is basically fries and gravy with cheese curds. This one had a burgundy wine gravy and bacon in addition to the cheese.<br /><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000234.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 278px; height: 371px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000234.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>If that doesn't sound and look delicious to you, you are wrong. You should probably just find another blog to read. I think there's another one or two out on the internet. I can't speak for the rest of the Frysmith menu, but this was one hell of a dish. Rating: Would like to try again.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Border Grill Truck:</span><br />See the previous post. It was great, but I don't feel like talking about it again. Rating - Would Go To Some Length to Hunt Them Down.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Greasy Wiener:</span><br /><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000294.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 268px; height: 200px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000294.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Man, these guys love the pun in their name and they play it up. I found them down by Warner Brothers one day at lunch. You guys know I love hot dogs and I'm incredibly picky about them. The dog here was pretty good, but I buried it in a heart attack of toppings. I had the chili cheese bomb - a hot dog wrapped in bacon, covered in chili, and essentially dipped in melted cheese. Hard to argue with that. The highlight, though, was actually the sliders, which they called Iggys.<br /><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000295.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 440px; height: 328px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000295.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I've had plenty of sliders in my time, and these were very high quality. No White Castle paper thin cardboard patty here. These reminded me of tiny In N Out burgers, nice and thick and very flavorful. Rating - Oh, Are They Nearby? I Guess I Could Go For That.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">KO Taco:</span><br />I saw KO Taco once at Meltdown. I tried three or four different things. They were essentially just tacos and taquitos. Meh. Rating - Don't Care If I See Them Again.<br /><br />So you can get an idea of some of the variety of truck that's out there. And in a city like LA, many of them (like the Border Grill Truck) are run by actual gourmet chefs. I know it's kinda hipstery and lame to follow a food truck, but the food is really worth it. It's a little pricey for fast food ($10/person on average) but that's damn cheap for true gourmet. So check it out sometime; try something new and different without breaking the bank. That's all I've got. I'm out 'til next time.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-54336593945669250592010-11-10T14:00:00.000-08:002010-11-10T14:33:08.851-08:00Susan Feniger FiestaOk, I'm done with catching up with my cooking. I do have a bunch of other food pictures on my computer waiting to be uploaded, but it's not gonna happen. Waiting to upload these is just another excuse to not update the blog. So, I'm moving forward. Highlights that I won't be covering - a beautiful cold avocado and cucumber soup served in a red bowl with sour cream and hot sauce (probably the prettiest picture I've taken, and I loved the flavor, too) and Tom Colicchio's sirloin steak (which is a pretty picture, but that's because you can't tell I overcooked it by trusting cooking times in the recipe more than my sense of touch). So let's just put it all behind us and enjoy reading my blog again.<br /><br />I mentioned in my last post (when was that, 1996?) that Melissa and I have been going to a lot of fancy-type restaurants. Well, I may have found a favorite local chef (my favorite chef overall is Rick Bayless. The meal I had at Frontera Grill in Chicago was life-changingly good, and his Red O here in LA is a favorite, as well). Susan Feniger (who you may know from Top Chef Masters or Too Hot Tamales) has several restaurants in LA, and I can now say I've been to all of them. Each was a delightful experience in its own way.<br /><br />The first we tried (also really the start of the whole fancy-type restaurant thing for us) was Ciudad. Ciudad doesn't exist anymore. Just last month it transformed into a new Border Grill location (more on BG (Border Grill, not Battlestar Galactica (that parenthetical defeats the purpose of abbreviating)) below). But while it existed, Ciudad was a fun, quirky place to try some unique, modern Mexican-inspired dishes. We went on a Sunday, which was tapas night. Basically the menu was reduced down to tasting plates. The memorable dishes for me were my first ceviche (later eclipsed by the divine ceviche at Frontera Grill) and the local farmer's market salad. The salad was watermelon and mozzarella with balsamic vinegar and some kind of green. I wouldn't have expected the flavors to go together, but it was fresh and sweet and wonderful. Honestly this dinner was long enough ago that I couldn't tell you much more about it, other than that I enjoyed it.<br /><br />Much more recently, we tried Street. Street is Feniger's tribute to world-wide street food. It has an eclectic menu of dishes you'll probably never see anywhere else in this country. The menu changes quite a bit, but when we were there we had a great spicy sashimi and a Thai coconut soup that I liked a lot. The restaurant's signature dish, and easily my favorite, is the Kaya Toast. This is toast spread with coconut jam (kaya, a Pacific island staple, if I'm not mistaken - no, I'm not going to look it up), then dipped into egg yolk and soy sauce. It's impossible to describe how good this is. Find it somewhere and try it. Trust me. I also discovered my new favorite drink - The Sazerac. This is a New Orleans classic and a favorite of several authors from the turn of the 20th Century. Because it's made with absinthe, it was hard to come by until recently. Essentially, it's the same as a Manhattan, but with absinthe instead of vermouth. Rye/bourbon, absinthe, and bitters - it's smooth, it's sweet, and it feels damn classy. I ordered three (which was expensive, and I didn't care). Speaking of expensive, like Bazaar, Street focuses on small plates. We ordered WAY too many of them. Everything on the menu looked good, so we just kept ordering. I was overstuffed and broke by the time I left. Still, this was my favorite Feniger experience and I will go back frequently.<br /><br />Our next stop was the Feniger Flagship - Border Grill (or as I like to call it, Battlestar Galactica (if you don't get that joke, you should probably read this more carefully). Honestly, it was my least favorite of the three. Not that it was bad, by any means, but it was the one I tried most recently, and nothing about the meal really stands out in my head. Everything was good, but I guess it wasn't as unique as I had hoped. It should be noted that we visited for DineLA week and were ordering from a limited Prix Fixe menu, so we may not have had the best the restaurant could offer. I'll try it again, probably at the downtown location that used to be Ciudad sometime before I see a show at the Ahmanson or the Disney Concert Hall. If nothing else, the atmosphere was fun and festive.<br /><br />Finally, just this past weekend, I finally got to experience the Border Grill Truck. Cashing in on the food truck craze in LA (more in a future post. Possibly...TOMORROW???), this is a scaled-down version of the Border Grill that travels around the city. Oddly enough, I liked it WAY more than the actual restaurant. I had a cone of ceviche (the cone was crunchy tortilla) for $5 and an avocado taco (don't know what spice it was covering the avocado, but I loved it). Melissa had a poblano quesadilla and I take her word for it that it was delicious. The ceviche was very flavorful and served with black bean dip. It's hard to remember that ceviche, fancy fare in the states, is actually a street food in most parts of the world. But if you need a real reason to hunt down this truck, I give you two words: Churro Tots. That's right, little tater tot shaped churros. And they're filled with dulce de leche. And with fresh whipped cream for dipping. And coated in cinnamon. And they're all chewy in the middle, instead of crunchy like you usually get (this is either Spanish or Mexican style, I think, I don't know which is which). Delicious. I also had a mango soda, one of those Mexican sodas that you always see and never drink. You should drink them. They're good.<br /><br />And that's all the time I have for today. I'll be back (...TOMORROW??? Maybe). <br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-86907526859102285852010-09-15T14:27:00.000-07:002010-09-15T14:27:00.615-07:00How BazaarFor my birthday, Melissa took me out to a restaurant I've wanted to try for a while - Bazaar by Jose Andres. Jose is a kind of a big deal in the restaurant world and I've heard a lot of good buzz about Bazaar. Mostly I was intrigued at the prospect of molecular gastronomy - using science and chemicals to create new and interesting flavors and textures. This is the kind of place that would probably close within five minutes of opening in Iowa and the townspeople might accuse the chef of witchcraft.<br /><br />The restaurant felt maybe a little <span style="font-style: italic;">too</span> hip inside. It was Beverly Hills, after all. There was quirky art and statues displayed in unexpected places and most of the customers felt like they were trying to be something. You get used to this in LA. Upon being seated, we were presented with rather large menus and wine lists. I went straight for the craziest drink I could find. I don't recall the name, but it was a rum-based drink, inspired by a Cuban classic (not a mojito, but it tasted a bit like one). Not crazy, you say? Just wait, says I! The drink was frozen with liquid nitrogen, making it more like an alcoholic sorbet. On top of it all, they prepared it at your table.<br /><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000248.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 220px; height: 294px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000248.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Sitting at the table and looking up at the guy making this thing, it was like having a mad scientist for a bar tender. The smoke (steam? what is it that liquid nitrogen makes?) <a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000243.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 170px; height: 227px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000243.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>pouring over the counter was enchanting. The drink? Well, a little strong, but pretty tasty and refreshing.<br /><br />The main menu was basically a series of tapas. It was divided into two sides - traditional and new. The traditional side was, as you would expect, traditional Spanish-inspired dishes. We had a few of them and they were quite well done. None of them stand out in my mind nearly a month later, though. It was the New section that I had come to try and it was those dishes that really stood out. We ordered in about 3 batches, five or six tapas each.<br /><br />The first batch had an order of sweet potato chips with a whipped yogurt dipping sauce. The dipping sauce was absolutely phenomenal. I wish I knew what else was in it because it was the perfect compliment to sweet potatoes.<br /><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000241.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 445px; height: 332px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000241.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The little waffle cones in the above picture contain, if memory serves, a small amount of ceviche. It was nothing compared to the ceviche we had at Rick Bayless's Frontera in Chicago, but it was still quite good. The only complaint was that there wasn't enough of it. The giant Q-tips are something that everyone had recommended, but no one could describe - foie gras cotton candy. I didn't really know what to expect, but no phrase could better describe molecular gastronomy for me than "foie gras cotton candy." Essentially, it was sugar spun around a hunk of foie gras. The cotton candy itself was very sweet, though mostly flavorless, and the foie gras was so rich and savory...it was a very nice compliment. It was an odd taste sensation, but very satisfying.<br /><br /><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000244.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 166px; height: 220px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000244.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Another standout in my mind was the "Caprese Salad" pictured at left. That looks pretty typical, but the experience was anything but. You see, those balls of mozzarella are not what they appear to be. They're not just little hunks of cheese. They are some kind of thing that Bazaar calls a "Spherification." It's some kind of chemical gel formed into a ball that will burst in your mouth. These were filled with a molten mozzarella that just oozed into your mouth as soon as it hit the tongue. It was sort of what they referred to on The Simpsons as "a tasty fake." Your eyes expect one texture and it sucker punches you with liquid cheese. Very cool. There were also a lot of "re-imaginings" or deconstructions of dishes. We had an order of the "Philly Cheese Steak." These were thin slices of wagyu beef (the American version of kobe) on top of what the restaurant called "air bread." Essentially, this was a crusty, pastry-like bread puffed with air, sort of like an un-filled, high-end Hot Pocket. Inside of this bread was a very sharp cheddar cheese, once again, liquefied. The way that cheese poured out of the bread into my mouth was strange and wonderful.<br /><br />Of course, sometimes it really felt like the chef was trying to hard. Most notably, the shrimp cocktail. The menu described the dish as "Just a Shrimp Cocktail (Yeah, right!)." Naturally, I wanted to see what this snide menu item was. Well, here you go:<br /><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000245.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 287px; height: 382px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000245.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>What you are looking at is 2 individual shrimp (it came with 4 total) skewered on a pipette filled with cocktail sauce. The waiter instructed us to put the shrimp in our mouths, then squeeze the pipette. Really? That's your "new take" on the shrimp cocktail? Don't get me wrong, the cocktails sauce was spicy and some of the best I've tasted, but just give it to me in a dish with a handful of shrimp like a normal person. Paying $10 for 4 shrimp is just insanity.<br /><a href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000246.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 171px; height: 228px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000246.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />By this time in the evening, our waiter had literally disappeared. He had been all over the table for most of the evening, but he was gone. He even forgot to bring out one of the plates we had ordered. I didn't care. I'd ordered my second drink and was feeling pretty full, anyway. The drink was a Dirty Martini, Bazaar-style. Ketel One vodka (my personal choice), topped with an olive foam and garnished with a spherification of olive (much like the mozzarella cheese mentioned above, kind of like a melty gummy olive). Nice, but heavier on olive flavoring than I usually prefer. My fault for ordering a dirty martini. Anyway, the waiter showed up and we asked for dessert. We were led away from our table and into a dessert lounge, where we could choose from any number of candies and cakes. Melissa had a cupcake and we had an interesting passion fruit jelly, but the candies were the most fun and fantastic. There were lemon lime rocks, which had a delightful sparkle and texture and, my favorite, chocolate covered Pop Rocks. I think they were raspberry flavored. They looked like Cocoa Pebbles but exploded (chocolate covering does not stop the Rocks from Poppin') with a berry flavor. Combined with teas and coffee, it was a nice way to end the meal.<br /><br />Bazaar provided me with an eating experience I'd never had before. For the most part, the flavors and textures I tried were exciting and delicious. However, I'm not sure I would want to eat this style of food very often. I got pretty bad heartburn that I blame on the chemicals used to create the mad genius on the plate. Plus, so much of the food is foamy and liquefied that it doesn't feel terribly satisfying (though it is certainly filling). I think everyone should try a place like this at least once, but most of the time I'd rather have more "normal" food.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-26691908105646771292010-08-20T13:50:00.000-07:002010-08-20T14:30:20.861-07:00Catching Up With the Chef (Part 2)Ok, once more. With feeling.<br /><br />As I've mentioned in a couple of previous posts, I'm a big fan of (Top Chef producer/head judge) Tom Colicchio. At least, I'm as much of a fan as you can be of a chef whose food you've never eaten (his restaurant Craft is at the top of my "fancy restaurants to visit next" list). I like his demeanor on the show and thoroughly enjoy his blog on the Top Chef official website. He's smart, well-written, and funny when he wants to be. I also adore the approach of his cookbook - Think Like a Chef. It's designed to train a person in the basic techniques of cooking and how to pair foods based on the freshest ingredients available. It's a fantastic text book that reads more like a friend giving you advice.<br /><br />The first section in Tom's book is all about roasting. He tells you the basic steps (brown on the stove, cook in low heat, baste, rest) and then presents a few recipes to show how those steps are adapted for different dishes. The first recipe was a chicken. I've covered roasting chicken before, and this method didn't provide many new experiences, other than learning how to truss a chicken (note - if you are looking for butcher's twine at Target, it is in the automotive section for some reason). Next up is a roasted bass. Now, bass apparently isn't in season because I can't seem to find it anywhere around here (not even Whole Foods, which does have Chilean Sea Bass, but that's not REALLY bass, it's Patagonian Tooth Fish), but Tom says any firm fleshed fish will work. I went with salmon because it was the only one of his suggestions I could find. I got one of the thickest salmon filets I've ever bought (I admit, I often buy frozen, not fresh) and seasoned it as suggested. One of the revelations I've had from Tom's book is kosher salt. I'd always used iodized and upgraded to sea salt for the fancy stuff. Now, almost every dish I serve contains coarse kosher salt. It's like a magic potion that makes things delicious. It adds a crunch and the flavor is perfectly suited to classy cooking - salty without being overpowering. The fish came out wonderfully rich and oily to the point of literally melting in my mouth. Fish is touchy, but this one came out perfect:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/IMG_0223.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 383px; height: 287px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/IMG_0223.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I also used a recipe from later in the book for pan-roasted asparagus. I didn't follow it too carefully, just got the gist of it and seasoned it with what I had on hand. That happened to be sage. In case you were wondering, sage and butter go VERY nicely with asparagus. The roasting softened the vegetable but kept it firm enough to still be pleasant. I was very proud of my ability to not stay married to a recipe and create something that was quite delicious using my own instincts and experience.<br /><br />I'm also a big fan of Jamie Oliver. His "Food Revolution" is a cause I fully support and I use his 20 Minute Meals iPhone app quite a lot. His recipes are simple, healthy, and still very flavorful. My first experience with his recipes came from a card I picked up during the Food & Wine Festival at Disneyland. Pretty basic - spaghetti and tomato sauce. I've been looking to move away from jarred, store-bought pasta sauces, so it was a natural choice. I was a little disappointed that the recipe called for canned tomatoes, but I went with it. I was also introduced to a Jamie Oliver favorite - the red chile. I have made five of his recipes so far, and they have ALL called for a sliced red chile. I appreciate the kick it gives to his food (especially this pasta sauce). This dish came out well enough that I made it twice. Fresh basil can really add a lot of flavor to anything.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/IMG_0054.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 329px; height: 246px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/IMG_0054.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>One chef I know next to nothing about is Cat Cora. I know she's an Iron Chef America, but I've never watched an episode where the contestant chose her. I know she's supposed to be doing a series of web videos with the Muppets, but I haven't seen any of them released. Other than that, all I knew was that she had made an appearance at the same Food & Wine Festival I mentioned above. Obviously, someone who appears at Disneyland can't be all bad. I saw the recipe she had prepared for the festival online - Greek Sliders with Sweet Potato Fries. Sounds good to me!<br /><br />Apparently Cat is a Greek Southerner and that inspires her cooking. I'm a sucker for Greek food, so I was already on board. I don't know where to buy slider buns, so I just cut up some focacia rolls:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/_MG_2047.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 389px; height: 259px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/_MG_2047.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The burgers came out fine. I don't remember much about them, specifically. They were basically a smaller version of the burgers I've made and grilled many times before. The tzatziki was perfect. Greek yogurt and the flavors that it is infused with are just music in my mouth. I don't know why. I have no Greek heritage and I don't having any great memories of Greek food; I just love it. It was a nice twist on an American classic, and I devoured it.<br /><br />I also devoured the fries. I've tried several recipes for sweet potato fries and they normally come out mushy and a little under flavored. The technique for these didn't seem that different than what I had tried before (season, coat in olive oil, bake), but these ones came out perfectly crispy, the way you would expect a french fry from a fast food restaurant to feel. I used to pepper to give them a little kick and for some reason they were absolutely perfect. Maybe I have to pay more attention to Cat Cora from now on.<br /><br />That's all for now. More catching up soon.<br /><br />Cheers!<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-91121957440980128192010-07-27T14:12:00.001-07:002010-07-27T14:32:41.007-07:00Flat Bottom Tacos You Make the Rockin' World Go 'RoundOk, a quick diversion based on my latest food revelation. For years, nay DECADES, one great problem has plagued our dinner plates. Too often we find ourselves trying to fill a hard shell taco, only to have it tip over and spill its contents mid-preparation. I don't need to describe the terror and utter dismay as you watch the intended toppings come spilling out from their fried tortilla bounds - The mudslide of ground beef, the cascades of cheese, and each piece of diced tomato tumbling down like a boulder crushing your heart. It's every home cook's worst nightmare and we've all experienced it. It's ok, you can admit it. This is a safe place. Now, enter our hero:<br /><br />Old El Paso Stand 'n' Stuff Taco Shells (note - the official name is "Stand 'n Stuff," but that second apostrophe should be there, so I added it). I saw these perched upon my grocer's shelf and reached for them with trembling hand. Had they really done it? Was this golden box my holy grail? Well, Taco Fans (ie- everyone), I can proudly report that the good people at Old El Paso have indeed done the impossible. Taco night no longer must be a stress-inducing event. These shells have a flat bottom so they STAND UP ON YOUR PLATE. I filled four of them at the same time, and no tippage occurred. This great riddle of the dinner plate has at last been solved.<br /><br />Sure, there have been solutions before. Stands and racks have been created to hold your taco as you prepare, but these devices were more at home in a medieval torture chamber than a respectable person's kitchen. They were clumsy and inelegant - the blaster to the Stand 'n' Stuff's lightsaber. These shells are a clean and easy solution to a problem as old as time itself (I'm pretty sure I saw a picture of Edward the Confessor spilling his taco on the Bayeux Tapestry). <br /><br />And so I urge Old El Paso - release the copyright on these marvelous inventions. Let the rest of the world manufacture the miracle of the flat-bottomed taco. You can't cure cancer and then not share the vaccine with the rest of the world. It's just not the way things should be done. <br /><br />Maybe one of your competitors could solve the nagging problems that the Stand 'n' Stuff currently presents. They're extra wide, so the temptation to fill with more toppings far beyond healthy is great. Also, the width and shape leave the taco more susceptible to splitting in twain and a little harder to eat from an ergonomic standpoint. <br /><br />But these problems don't detract on the majesty that is the upright taco. Thank you, Old El Paso, for making the world a better place.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-51483822851360324102010-07-22T13:23:00.000-07:002010-07-22T13:58:56.552-07:00Catching Up With the Chef (Part 1)Yeah, yeah, I know I'm not a "chef" but I cook. And I drew that "Chef Eli" thing ages ago. You know, this thing:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/chefeli.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 231px; height: 404px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/chefeli.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Ok, well, I haven't posted anything about cooking recently, so here's a bit of a catchup on some of the fancier things I've made from cookbooks and whatnot.<br /><br />Not long after I finished Selzer & Smuckles (the cooking, not the final blog post 6 and a half years later) I wanted to try something a little easier. I have a Trader Joe's cookbook that provided us with a nice lasagna with garlic bread.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/IMG_1994.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 262px; height: 196px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/IMG_1994.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> Nothing too fancy here, just a vegetable lasagna and a simple Italian bread. You know what, I apologize for bringing this up. There's no real story here. It's lasagna and garlic bread; I've done these things before. Everyone has. Melissa and I were watching a trio of Scorcese movies (Goodfellas, Raging Bull, and The Departed) and we needed a good, filling Italian meal. We paired it with some cheap Italian wine and lazed about for a day. I don't know if it was the lasagna, the wine, or the combination of the two, but I seem to recall that I got sick from this. Not violently ill, but sick enough that it stands out in my memory. Ok, moving on.<br /><br />If you've been paying attention (and I think I've mentioned this here), I really want to learn to make some basic sauces. So much of cooking is just heating up a protein and then adding a sauce for extra flavor that it seems like I should know how they work. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/_MG_1980.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 317px; height: 211px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/_MG_1980.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> I decided that I wanted to make a nice hollandaise. I had a recipe from a Disney Newsreel (the company magazine) for an eggs benedict from one of the hotels and I wanted to try it. I promptly screwed everything up. First, I needed something easy for the night I was planning to cook it and ended up buying a sauce mix at the store, thus defeating the purpose of the recipe in the first place. Then I forgot to buy Canadian bacon or any other kind of meat, meaning I wasn't really making an eggs benedict. I ended up with, essentially, an unfinished, slightly high end Egg McMuffin. On the plus side, it was my first time poaching eggs and they came out very nicely. Looking around at other cooking sites, this is apparently harder than I thought it was. I guess not realizing how hard it is gave me the confidence to do it properly. I plan to try the same thing with flying an airplane in the future. That's easy, right? Oh, and note that I served this with the Perfect Home Fries Every Time from the Achewood cookbook. See, I learned something from that whole process.<br /><br />One of Melissa's favorite meals is grilled pizza (who needs segues?). My parents made it often when we lived at home and it truly is a fantastic invention. Well, my parents got me a nice grill for Christmas, and I thought I'd try my hand at it. I bought a nice pizza peel at Sur La Table (that store is like a giant, shiny, overpriced porn store for me) and got to work. I used a pre-made dough from Trader Joe's and topped it with pretty standard stuff - pepperoni, bell pepper, onion, basil, and mozzarella balls. You pre-cook the dough on the grill before topping it, and I gotta tell you, it came off looking great. Well, apparently, it should have stayed on a few minutes less; by the time all of the cheese and toppings had cooked, the bottom of the crust was pretty well charred. This is not to say it wasn't delicious, you just had to get past that "burned" taste. I mostly bring it up because I'm pretty proud about how artistically I arranged the toppings:<br /> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/IMG_0075.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 330px; height: 247px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/IMG_0075.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Ok, my lunch is over, I'm out of time. I have A LOT more to post. This was going to be a two part post, and I think it just became three. Mark your calendars and just keep hitting refresh until I come back.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-51692042464388226192010-07-12T13:36:00.000-07:002010-07-12T14:19:55.656-07:00Ok, Fine, I'll Hug A TreeI've always cared about the environment. Captain Planet taught me to recycle and I listened, damn it. However, I think I may have finally crossed the line into "Dirty Hippie" territory. I'll explain.<br /><br />When I started working at Miramax, I started taking public transportation to work. It wasn't because I was trying to cut my carbon emissions, I was just tired of driving in LA traffic. Eventually, I started riding my bike to the train station in North Hollywood. Now that I'm working at Disney, I live less than 2 miles away from my office. There's literally no excuse for me to drive a car to work 90% of the time. So I don't. I ride my bike unless I have an offsite meeting or have to bring something large to work. People in LA look at me like I'm crazy. This city loves its cars to the point of cultism. Any mode of transportation that doesn't have an internal combustion engine is heaped with scorn and derision. But that's another blog post (oh yes, the angry bike rider post is coming...I'm sure you're thrilled). The point is, when you stand up at the Griffith Observatory and look out over the LA basin and you can only see about a mile in front of you through the brown haze that clings to the city, you can know that my commute is not contributing to that. I'm not trying to sound smug, but it's kind of hard not to feel a little better about myself.<br /><br />Second, I bought myself a pair of blue suede shoes. I appreciate Elvis (though I'm not a HUGE fan), but this has nothing to do with that. Check them out, they're awesome:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000203.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 324px; height: 432px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Uploads%20via%20Pixelpipe/1000000203.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>As you can see with my blatant product placement, I got these from <a href="http://simpleshoes.com/">Simple Shoes</a>. This is a company that makes eco-conscious, sustainable shoes. Larry David wears them, if that means anything to you. These are an early model, so they aren't the MOST hippie shoes they make, but they are made from what the company calls "eco-suede." I don't know exactly what that means, but I take their word for it. And the next pair of shoes I buy, when I replace the black Adidas I've had for about 5 years, will probably come from Simple, and they will be made of hemp. Deal with it.<br /><br />Of course, while 90% of my transportation takes place using the bike and shoes and my own two legs, there are times in the sprawled out mess of a city I live in that I need a car. If you know me, you know that I hate cars. I think they're an outdated, inefficient technology that has long past the point of their utility. I just don't get the "mystique" of the American automobile. I can't comprehend standing around looking at cars or spending any money for an accessory that isn't necessary to make the vehicle get from point A to point B. All of that said, I LOVE my new Prius. Well, used Prius, but new to me:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4115/4751703301_c260473b24.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 375px;" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4115/4751703301_c260473b24.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>It's not all about the gas mileage (which is FANTASTIC - I get 45 MPG without even trying), this car feels like the future. You know I love gadgets and technology, and this car feels like driving a gadget. I like to sit in it and pretend I'm piloting a Star Trek shuttlecraft (I'm not kidding). It doesn't hurt that since I can go 400 miles on one tank of gas, and that lasts me a LONG time. This car is really fun to drive, and that's hard to do for me. And yes, that's the picture from when I picked the car up...on the Disney Studios lot. That helps make it feel all the more magical.<br /><br />So, let's tally it up - Doesn't drive much/prefers to bike, buys eco-certified shoes, drives a fuel efficient hybrid when he has to drive...let's add the fact that I go out of my way to recycle and I only buy sustainable fish and I think I can officially get my Tree Hugger card. Do I have to register somewhere like a sex offender? Is there an actual card, or is that just a hypothetical idea? I hope it's not a real card - printing is bad for the environment.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-36684089259603899542010-06-03T14:04:00.000-07:002010-06-03T14:43:38.414-07:00And I Ran, I Ran So Far Away...So, probably the biggest thing I did during my blog hiatus was run the LA Marathon. I mentioned in one of my early posts that my plan was to run the whole thing without stopping to walk. Well, that didn't quite work out. See, Mike and I trained like crazy, but our training plan only went as far as 20 miles on a training run. The theory was that if you could run 20 miles, the other 6.2 would probably be easy. I don't think that it's a coincidence that we had to stop to walk right around the 20th mile marker. Of course, it didn't help that this was at the most boring section of the run (the Veteran's Administration in Westwood) and that it featured a rather brutal uphill section (more on that in a minute). The last five miles were probably the most physically taxing thing I have ever done. But I'm getting ahead of myself.<br /><br />The whole concept of the race was "Run the Landmarks." It started off at Dodger Stadium, would through the Walk of Fame, down the Sunset Strip, past Rodeo Drive, and ended up at the Santa Monica Pier. The other selling point was that the general course of the marathon was downhill. The organizers implied that this would lead to personal bests and the easiest marathon course ever put together. That was a flat out lie. While there were some good downhill sections (the last five miles were a VERY gradual decline), there were PLENTY of steep uphills that we just weren't prepared for. I could have done more hill training if I thought it would be an issue, but I didn't. As a result, the whole thing felt harder than it should have.<br /><br />Mike and I met up on 2nd Base at Dodger Stadium. This was actually one of the highlights of the race for me. The Disneyland Half Marathon runs through Angel Stadium, so it's cool that running has given me the chance to be on the field at both major league parks in the LA area. (A note about pictures - yes, they say "PROOF," but I have bought them. I just don't feel like scanning them).<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/MikeandEliStadium.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 377px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/MikeandEliStadium.png" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/MikeandEliStadium.png"> </a><br />I tried to use a restroom before the start, but the line was at least 45 minutes long and I didn't have to go badly enough. Of course, as soon as we started running, I had to pee as bad as I ever have, but I just ignored the urge. It took nearly 17 miles, but the feeling (which was mostly psychosomatic) went away. I sure as hell didn't want to stop to wait in line for a port-a-potty. We lined up for the start and we stood. And we waited. The race was delayed multiple times (it really felt poorly organized at times) and standing around waiting on pavement isn't the best way to warm up for a long distance race.<br /><br />Along the route, people held up signs to cheer you on. The "There's Beer at the Finish Line" and "Run Like You Stole Something" signs may have been funny the first time, but after seeing each one AT LEAST 20 times, it got old. One of the official marathon signs (at Mile 4 or 5) read "The Kenyans are at Mile 16." Now that just seems cruel (and maybe a little racist, I still haven't decided). It was fun running through all of the different neighborhoods and seeing the differences among the people. We passed through several African American gospel choirs from the local downtown churches. We hit Silverlake, home of the hipsters, and immediately noticed that the spectators all had porkpie hats, ironic mustaches, and held signs that said things like "What are you running from?" Passing through Pacific Palisades at the end of the course brought wealthy people watching from their lawns, wanting desperately to feel like they were a part of something. You would hear people saying, "We're almost there, keep going!" and think, "No I'M almost there, WE are not doing anything - specifically, YOU aren't doing anything."<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Midrace.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 313px; height: 478px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Midrace.png" alt="" border="0" /></a>As I mentioned before, the last 5 miles were the most physically grueling thing I have ever done. It was an act of sheer willpower that my legs were able to keep moving at all. I don't think I had any real control over the issue. I came around the last corner, down Ocean drive, and prepared for the last .2 miles of the race. I run 3-7 miles every other weekday and 10-20 on the weekend, and this .2 miles felt like the longest distance I could imagine. I saw what I thought was the finish line and pressed myself to reach it. It turns out it was just a stoplight and I had another 2 or 3 blocks to run. I honestly don't know how I made it. I felt like I wanted to fall asleep. I finally crossed the finish line, 5 hours and 20 odd minutes after I started. I'm not going to lie, this was a lot slower than I wanted it to be. That's what's driving me to try this whole thing again.<br /><br />By the way, the one thing every runner wants from a race is a finish line picture. It's proof that you really did cross that line and finished the race. Most runners do some kind of pose, knowing that they are being photographed. I counted at least 5 photographers at the finish line and this was still the best they could do:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/FinishLine.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 313px; height: 479px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/FinishLine.png" alt="" border="0" /></a>Way to go, MarathonFoto. (That's me about to collapse/cough up a lung a good 5 seconds after I crossed).<br /><br />I made my way through the post-race cool down area. I devoured bananas and fruit cups and drank at least two bottles of water. They handed me my medal. This is what it looked like:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/MikeandEliFinish.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 258px; height: 394px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/MikeandEliFinish.png" alt="" border="0" /></a>But this is how it felt:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/MarathonStarWars.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 463px; height: 329px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/MarathonStarWars.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>(That's right, Mike Funt, it's my blog - I get to be Han Solo. Chewbacca is growling to make everyone cheer for ME).<br /><br />Even though I was disappointed in my time, I know I accomplished something pretty awesome. It's no easy task to run for more than 5 hours straight, no matter what speed you're going. It feels pretty damn great. Mike and I sat down before going to find our wives and I think we were both believing that we just shared something very cool. Also, that our legs might not work well enough to stand back up.<br /><br />So, it's back into training. I'm aiming for a 1:45 time in this year's Disneyland Half Marathon and then we go back into marathon mode. Why? Because next January we're doing the Goofy Challenge in Orlando. That's the Walt Disney World Half Marathon on Saturday, followed by the Walt Disney World Marathon on Sunday. 2 days, 39.3 miles. I think I may be insane.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-75488454456385897742010-05-27T11:26:00.000-07:002010-05-27T11:45:23.502-07:00Selzer & Smuckles - The IndexTo make things a little easier in case you wanted to find a specific story or recipe, I've created an index for the run of Selzer & Smuckles. This should be the first post to pop up when you click the "To Find All Selzer And Smuckles Posts..." link above.<br /><br />Please go back and re-read these, or enjoy them for the first time. The fondest memories we have are those of when we read peoples' blogs. Shakespeare said that (or didn't...one of those two).<br /><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/selzer-smuckles.html">Introduction - Selzer & Smuckles</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/easy-appetizers-p12-drink-of-tomorrow.html">Easy Appetizers & Drink of Tomorrow</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/fools-rice-p19.html">Fool's Rice</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/perfect-hot-dogs-every-time-p26.html">Perfect Hot Dogs Every Time</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/basque-green-bean-salad-p20.html">Basque Green Bean Salad</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/toasted-nut-orzo-p33.html">Toasted Nut Orzo</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/satellite-tv-p11.html">Satellite TV (warning, includes my scathing Mama Mia review)</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/proper-omelette-technique-p-37.html">Proper Omelette Technique</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/galaxy-nachos-p-46.html">Galaxy Nachos</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/flavor-burgers-p31-and-perfect-over.html">Flavor Burgers & Perfect Oven Fries Every Time</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/hell-baby-p48_27.html">Hell Baby</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/09/childhood-sandwich-p36.html">Childhood Sandwich</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/09/dogg-is-home-p47.html">The Dogg is Home</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/09/homemade-mexican-pizza-p-32.html">Homemade Mexican Pizza</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/09/beer-can-chicken-p45.html">Beer Can Chicken </a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/09/smoked-salmon-on-potato-coins-p15-and.html">Smoked Salmon on Potato Coins & Perfect Deviled Eggs Every Time</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/10/microwave-egg-muffin-p-34.html">Microwave Egg Muffin</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/10/vegetables-delight-p-16.html">Vegetables Delight</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/10/five-dollar-chili-p35.html">Five Dollar Chili</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/10/ruuude-chicken-p-24.html">Ruuude Chicken</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/10/omega-potato-p-40.html">Omega Potato</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/10/chef-rays-no-butter-no-fry-hot-wings.html">Chef Ray's No-Butter, No-Fry Hot Wings!</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/10/brined-pork-loin-page-forthcoming-with.html">Brined Pork Tenderloin with Carmelized Onions</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/11/scotch-eggs-p39.html">Scotch Eggs</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/11/12-step-cookies-p42.html">12 Step Cookies</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/11/storms-brewin.html">Prelude to the End</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/11/diamond-juice-p9-and-how-you-gotta.html">Diamond Juice & How You Gotta Enjoy Wine</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/11/t-bone-steak-ray-steak-p28-meditation.html">T-Bone Steak & A Meditation on Home Fries</a><br /><a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2010/05/selzer-smuckles-my-final-thoughts.html">My Final Thoughts</a>eliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-40923706565044636872010-05-24T16:39:00.001-07:002010-05-24T17:19:38.085-07:00Selzer & Smuckles - My Final Thoughts<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/SelzerSmucklesClear.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 375px; height: 249px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/SelzerSmucklesClear.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>You see that? That picture is my attempt at recreating the cover of the Achewood Cookbook, seen here:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.achewoodshop.com/1025.html"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 175px; height: 175px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/Cover.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>It is also the reason that I haven't posted anything here for nearly 3 months. Seriously. I knew my next blog post had to be the closing of the Selzer & Smuckles chapter, I had put it off long enough. I also knew that I wanted to take that picture. Unfortunately, as you can probably tell if you're reading this, will power is not always my strong suit. I refused to post until I had that picture, and every night I would get home and think, "I'll have to get the camera out of the bag. And then I'll have to clean off the counter. And then I'll have to get everything setup. Hey, The Simpsons is on!" Finally, I just went ahead and did it (it must have been a Lisa-heavy Simpsons episode) and here we are. Please note that I do not own copper pots and pans, nor do I have a hanging baker's rack (I could use one, but every time I think about it I remember I live in a state where the ground has a tendency to toss itself about without warning and I don't like the idea of a cast iron skillet crashing into my noggin when all I wanted was a bowl of Cheerios). I also own a blue cocktail shaker, not the classic silver, but the Ketel One, martini glass, and lemon were all meticulously placed.<br /><br />So what did I learn from Selzer & Smuckles? First, I'm probably a better cook than I thought I was. Most of the recipes seemed a bit below my level of expertise, no matter how tasty the result. That said, I did learn how much can be found from the most basic of recipes. The <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/11/12-step-cookies-p42.html">12-Step Cookies</a> are now Melissa's favorite dessert, and I make them frequently for potluck type events. <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/toasted-nut-orzo-p33.html">Toasted Nut Orzo</a> has quickly made its way into my regular recipe rotation. In fact, we had it for dinner on Friday and are having it again this week (the ingredients are proportioned in a way that when you buy them, you have enough to make it twice). And the <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/fools-rice-p19.html">Fool's Rice</a> has accompanied every stir fry I've made since the first time I've tried it. The <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/11/t-bone-steak-ray-steak-p28-meditation.html">Meditation on Home Fries</a> has proven the perfect way to cook potatoes for an easy (if not necessarily fast) side (Melissa loves these, too). The <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/11/scotch-eggs-p39.html">Scotch Eggs</a> and <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/10/chef-rays-no-butter-no-fry-hot-wings.html">Ray's Hot Wings</a> have both merited repeat eatings, as well. Not a bad haul for a cookbook that mostly plays itself for jokes.<br /><br />I have also learned how much trial and error there really is in cooking. There is no doubt in my mind that the <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/flavor-burgers-p31-and-perfect-over.html">Perfect Oven Fries and Flavor Burgers</a> are solid recipes and that I screwed them up somehow. Due to differences in appliances and cookware, slavishly following a recipe can be hazardous. I've started to learn to cook more by instinct, and I'm enjoying the creative feeling of it. And several techniques took many tries to master. Just last weekend I finally made a <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/proper-omelette-technique-p-37.html">Proper Omelette</a> perfectly for the first time. I've been attempting it every time I make omelettes since I first posted about them last August (and I make omelettes fairly frequently). But it took until now to roll the egg on to itself without a spatula and have it finish cooking without really browning. Watching that perfectly yellow cloud of egg slide off of my pan and on to my plate is one of my proudest moments in the kitchen.<br /><br />I also learned to appreciate good liquor. The Ketel One in my freezer has provided me much more enjoyment than the Smirnoff on the counter (which is now just for mixin').<br /><br />Where do I go from here? Well, there's no shortage of cookbooks in the world, though I don't think I want to go trekking through another one in its entirety anytime soon. If I do, the top candidate is Tom Colicchio's Think Like a Chef, which reads almost like a textbook and comes from a chef I really admire. I'm currently reading the book, not cooking yet, and I've already learned more about cooking than I would have expected from any book. Melissa just got me Hubert Keller's Burger Bar cookbook for our anniversary, and that looks like a lot of fun. She also bought be a nice kitchen scale so I can dive into Michael Ruhlman's Ratio in earnest. In short, I'm trying to move myself more towards creating than just following instructions. As for the blog, don't expect to see the food posting stop anytime soon. I got a lot of positive responses from this project and really enjoyed it myself. That being said, I don't think I want to make this strictly a "food blog." There's already a billion of those out there and I don't really want to tie myself down to one topic.<br /><br />But I guess that's it for now. I thoroughly enjoyed Selzer & Smuckles and I hope that you did too. I laughed more than I should from a cookbook and enjoyed a lot of great food. I really finished this project months ago, and looking back on it now made me realize how much I've missed it. But what can I do? I reached the end of the book and that's all there is to it. Even if I wanted to go through the hard work again, I couldn't do it. I mean, unless they put out a second Achewood cookbook. Wait a minute. <a href="http://www.achewoodshop.com/1071.html">What's that?</a> Son of a bitch.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-19966308052148486242010-03-01T13:47:00.000-08:002010-03-01T14:18:53.822-08:00Wait, Wait....They Have Chicken...AND Waffles?<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/14272980@N03/4399684716/" title=" by EliCubs, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4013/4399684716_1fa8a74cbe.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt=" " /></a><br />I've been living in LA for nearly 4 years now (wow it seems like less than that), and I have come to realize that Angelenos are suckers for a fad. All it takes is a single celebrity to stop into a Gravy Shop, and suddenly there's a knockoff gravy shop on every corner and inside of every strip mall (note to self - invent a Gravy Shop). I have seen this happen with frozen yogurt, cupcakes, milkshakes, and it appears to be happening again with popcorn (at least according to today's Tasting Table newsletter). My point is this - most of the things that people in LA consider to be landmarks of the culinary world are wildly over-rated.<br /><br />As a hot dog aficionado, I have been told my whole life that Pink's is the end-all, be-all of LA hot dog joints. I couldn't wait to try it out. I went at 2 in the afternoon and the line was down the block . I've come to understand that this is common at Pink's. People see people in line and assume that it must be the place to be. I waited far too long for the food I got. The hot dog was ok, but not the most flavorful thing I've eaten (also a little over-soggy, it lacked the real snap I expect from a quality dog). The chili was just terrible. Off hand, I can name 3 hot dog places in LA that are miles ahead of Pink's (Skooby's, Carney's, and The Stand for starters). But it's still the place that everyone assumes is the best because it's the most famous. I had a similar experience with Knott's Berry Farm fried chicken. All hype, no flavor (or texture or color or anything worth eating). <br /><br />That being said, I have found an LA institution that is every bit as delicious as its reputation would suggest: Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles. I had a lunch there on Friday that was as decadent and satisfying as any I've had. Now, I'm on record (maybe not at this blog, but elsewhere) as being no great fan of Southern food. Not everything should be fried, and frying is not an excuse for skipping seasonings and flavor. Thankfully, Roscoe's doesn't fall into this category. Chicken is always good fried, and Roscoe's has done it as well as any I have had. I had a quarter chicken smothered in gravy (note to self, try to license this gravy for my shop) and never wanted it to end. The meat was juicy and tender, the breading was flavorful, and then there was the fat. Dear lord. If you find eating fat disgusting, you are missing out food. You should probably just stop eating. I could have eaten the breaded and fried fat from this chicken like candy.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/14272980@N03/4398916363/" title=" by EliCubs, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2709/4398916363_70c0c33a6a.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt=" " /></a><br /><br />And if that wasn't enough, as you can see above, it comes with waffles. At least, it does if you order them. And at a place called Roscoe's Chicken of Waffles, why would you order anything but chicken and waffles? I'm also on record as being anti-Belgian waffles. Nothing against the people of Belgium, but their waffles are too crunchy and awkwardly shaped. I like a nice, thin, round classic waffle. Waffle House does it as well as anyone can, but unfortunately they're not out here. Roscoe's comes pretty close. The flavor was delightful, slathered in butter and maple syrup, naturally. They were maybe a hair undercooked, but it's hard to complain about something so smooth and doughy.<br /><br />So, yes, Roscoe's was worth the trip. The atmosphere was light and familial and the food was top notch (even if it did sit like a lead weight in my gut). Yes, it was probably about a billion calories, but I'm training for a marathon, I can afford it. It was delightful and I can't wait to go back. Now, I'm off to research copyright law as it pertains to gravy. <br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-17601629842977236742010-02-22T13:47:00.000-08:002010-02-22T14:12:54.648-08:00Is Anybody There?"Remember when you used to have a blog? That was fun." - My buddy <a href="http://hey-gang.blogspot.com/">Mike</a> last week.<br /><br />Wow, it's been three months since I checked in here. If you're still around reading, you may want to get used to this. I tend to fall off the face of the internet from time to time, and in the Winter, especially. Maybe I should just put up a graphic of a hibernating bear from December through February. No! This time next year, the blog will have been flourishing non-stop throughout the colder months. Is Internet Seasonal Affective Disorder a thing (I SAD)? Because I don't get emotionally depressed like a person with regular Seasonal Affective Disorder, but my blog, Twitter and Facebook feeds tend to get neglected. Maybe I should call it Internet Sensitive-Only Sesaonal Affective Disorder so I can call it "I So Sad". Ah, it feels good to be rambling again.<br /><br />So, what to do? I can catch you up on a few things with me. I made a few resolutions this New Year, so here's how that's going:<br /><br />1) Get out of credit card debt<br />This is going exceedingly well. Melissa and I are in what I call "Budget Crackdown" mode. No going out for dinner, no buying little things we don't need, every extra penny goes to our credit card debt. Thankfully, Disneyland for us is essentially a free trip. We have one card down, the second will be done this weekend, and that only leaves one. I expect to be done by the end of March. I'll still have student loans, and we'll have a car loan by the summer, but to be out from under the thumb of the credit companies is going to feel damn good.<br /><br />2) Write creatively every day<br />I haven't done this every single day, but most days for sure. I finished the first draft of a new screenplay with my writing partner Josh (we're waiting on some responses right now) and have been working on the first television spec I've written in years. I've done some preliminary work on a cartoon I'm working on with my friends. I've also written a few jokes for a standup routine I'll probably never perform, but you never know. So what haven't I been writing? This blog. But you knew that.<br /><br />3) Run a Marathon without stopping<br />Training is going very well, my last long training run is this Sunday (20 miles) and the marathon is less than 3 weeks away. My time isn't going to be what I had hoped it would be, but it won't be terrible (probably between 4:30 and 4:45).<br /><br />4) Start barbershopping<br />I haven't done this yet. January was supposed to be my "Month of Barbershop." So was February. Things aren't looking good for March. I'll look again in April. Unfortunately, the choruses I really want to sing with are over an hour away from me.<br /><br />So that leaves the old Scribe and Mouse (in case you haven't been paying attention, that's the name of this blog). I don't think it's too late to do a Selzer & Smuckles recap, so look for that soon (and I mean it this time). After that, I don't know. I could go back to my "ranting about whatever" format, but people really seemed to respond to the Selzer & Smuckles/cooking blog format. I still cook plenty, I could keep blogging about it (even though there are millions of cooking blogs out there already). I'll probably do a hybrid format of some sort - talk about what I'm cooking, but with more ranting interludes than before. I could always talk about crosswords again (I know how much everyone loved that). We'll see. It's an adventure.<br /><br />Anyway, that's where we stand, and I look forward to having all of you reading my words again. Sorry if this seemed a little sloppy and disorganized - I have to get my blog legs back. See you soon!<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-45764778129052570652009-11-24T13:07:00.000-08:002009-11-24T18:03:47.572-08:00T-Bone Steak ("Ray Steak," p.28), A Meditation on Home Fries (p.10)Well, here we are. Sorry for the delay, but I just couldn't seem to bring myself to write this one. I mean, the last recipe from the Achewood Cookbook. Could I really be finished? I have a hard time finishing projects. When I get to the end of a screenplay, I always drag my feet for a few days when I get to the third act. It always feels like I'm killing off a friend, or worse, a child (seeing as how it's something I've created). If I've done a good job creating characters, I feel like I'm going to miss them, and miss creating their world. There may not be any characters (aside from myself and the food) in this blog, but the feeling is the same. It took me a long time to gather the courage to log on and write this thing. I CRIED 8 OR 9 TIMES (not really). Oh well, on to the final recipe.<br /><br />I knew the last meal would have to be a big deal (and it's important to me that this sentence rhymed), and dogeared this recipe specifically for the grand finale. Nothing says "class" and "celebration" quite like a <span style="font-weight: bold;">T-Bone Steak</span> (or, as the book subtitles it, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Ray Steak</span>). And since the recipe recommended it, I served it up with Roast Beef's <span style="font-weight: bold;">Meditation on Home Fries</span>. As my <a href="http://adamselzer.com/">brother</a> so succinctly reminded me, "French fried potatoes and a T-Bone steak." A more classic meal there isn't. Let's start with the potatoes.<br /><br />I was nervous about this one. My last fried potato experience with Achewood <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/flavor-burgers-p31-and-perfect-over.html">hadn't gone well</a>. But I was determined to make this meal special, and I wasn't going to let some starches and oils stand in my way. There's a lot of text in the recipe where Roast Beef tries to come up with a universal standard for what constitutes "home fries." It's simple really: small, computer keyboard sized cubes of potato, salted and pan fried in oil. Don't go loading a bunch of dang spices on them or throw in vegetables to make them fancy. Potatoes are a staple, and they're perfectly fine without a lot of fancy presentation. Red potatoes were recommend, as their texture and consistency lends itself well to the cooking process. They took longer to cook than I had expected them to, but I was mostly able to let them sit while I focused on the steak. In this recipe, Roast Beef confirms my feelings that one of the things a young chef needs to learn is the confidence to let things sit alone in hot oil and cook without disturbing them. I'm pretty sure I've talked about this before, but I don't feel like digging through the archives to find the article. You do it.<br /><br />The finished product was a complete opposite result of the "perfect oven fries." These things were delicious. The potato cubes were crunchy on the outside and creamy on the inside, just enough salt to add a nice seasoned kick- a perfect compliment to any meal. Melissa and I both loved them. Possibly the best preparation of potatoes I have ever done. If you were to take the cubes and build them into a castle or something, you could serve these in any fancy, pretentious restaurant. That sort of goes against Beef's whole manifesto, though. Still, you get the idea, these things are good. See for yourself:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/RaySteak.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 440px; height: 293px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/RaySteak.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>And that blows the surprise on the steak, so let's jump right in. The t-bone is a large cut of meat - each one is over a pound (and I asked for small ones). I'm not that familiar with the cut, I prefer a ribeye or prime rib for my "special times" steak. Hm, "special times steak" seems to imply something sexual...it's not intentional, but I'm not going to change it. I have cooked steak many times before. I try not to eat too much red meat, but for a meal where you feel like rewarding yourself, you can't go wrong with a good steak. Still, I usually cook my steaks on a grill. I currently have a tiny, insufficient camping grill that is capable of cooking two average sized steaks in approximately an hour and a half. No worries, this is a stove cooked steak. This is important because without a pan, you can't make the red wine reduction that constitutes the sauce for the dish.<br /><br />Teodor walks you through this recipe, and it shows. Even though there's nothing terribly complicated in the instructions, everything is described in a way that makes you feel like you are doing something fancy. I had to cook these in two separate stainless steel pans - I didn't have one that was big enough for both of the steaks. I got the feeling that cast iron is probably a better fit for this one. My beautiful stainless pans were charred and black when I was through cooking, even after deglazing. Don't worry, they cleaned out ok (I know you were worried). But I've told you time and time again- I just don't have room for a decent cast iron skillet, nor do I have the patience to season one. If you have a pre-seasoned one you want to send me with a suggestion of where to put it, I'll accept it. E-mail me and I'll tell you where to send it. Outside of that, I'll make do with what I have.<br /><br />The recipe makes a big deal out of letting the steak sit out before and after cooking. This lets the juices adjust properly to their new situations and means you won't be left with a sloppy mess on the plate. Top Chef has made a point of this, too. I had never known it before I undertook this cooking project, and now it just seems like common sense. It's amazing how fast you can start to feel like a smug, elitist, expert, a-hole. When you flip the steaks (which is really all you have to do in this recipe) Teodor tells you to put a brick wrapped in foil on top of it to prevent the natural bowing that happens from having one side of the meat cooked and the other not. Well, you know what, I don't keep bricks laying around. Is this a common thing? Am I supposed to steal a brick from a construction site? Or is the book assuming that its target demographic will just take the brick that's holding up their coffee table? Either way, Teodor does offer the alternative of weighing down a heavy pan with cans for the same effect, and this is what I was prepared to do. However, I forgot about it because I was afraid my kitchen was about to catch on fire.<br /><br />See, steaks on the stove smoke. A lot. And my burners were burning a bright shade of orange I've never seen them glow before. Usually they stay a serene, happy blue. So, as the steaks were going all concave, my apartment was filling with smoke and the fire alarm was blaring. That kind of became focus number 1. Apparently the tiny ventilation hood on our oven is not equipped to handle this kind of cooking. I can't say I'm surprised, it's a sad little stove/oven, the kind you get the feeling Sears gave away for free in 1976 if you bought a fridge from them. Melissa helped to fan the smoke out the window and eventually things calmed down, but it was probably as panicked as I've ever been in the kitchen. My response to panic is to get all depressed and apologetic, but it passed. And when it did, it was time to make the sauce.<br /><br />I've deglazed and made reductions once or twice, but it's always fun to hear that sizzle. Plus, this was the first time since I got my stainless pans so I was actually able to scrape up the little black bits like the recipe told me to. I kept expecting the sauce to thicken more, especially when I added the "cornstarch slurry," but it remained ever-liquid. The recipe said it should turn to a gravy-like consistency, which I took to mean kind of thick and syrupy. Melissa thought that the runny sauce seemed like gravy to her, and I can see her point. Gravy is kind of a broad term to use as a descriptor. Either way, it was delicious. The steak didn't really need the sauce since it was plenty tender and juicy, but the vegetables and the wine really enhanced the flavors. It was smoky and rich and every bit as good as anything I've made on the grill. It came out a perfect medium rare, which I was happy about. Between the steak, the potatoes, the Diamond Juice and the wine, it all felt very decadent. A fitting end to a fun experiment.<br /><br />Well, since this post has run on long enough, I guess I lied to you. This isn't the last one. I'll post a wrap-up in the next couple of days where we'll reflect on what we've learned on this journey and a bunch of other hippie crap. Join us next time for a time of reflection.<br /><br />Cheers!<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-72284123045064821602009-11-18T13:11:00.000-08:002009-11-18T14:00:24.319-08:00Diamond Juice (p.9) and How You Gotta Enjoy Wine (p.43)I started my journey through this cookbook with a couple of drink recipes, so it makes sense that I would end things the same way. Yes, friends, we have arrived at the last meal of Selzer & Smuckles. This post is part 1 of 2, as it was quite a meal. Today, we focus on the liquid. We'll start with the wine, since it's a little less interesting. Ray's <span style="font-weight: bold;">How You Gotta Enjoy Wine</span> is not and does not pretend to be a recipe. It's just a little article teaching the very basics of wine consumption. This is the kind of thing I already know. I mean, I've seen <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> read <span style="font-style: italic;">Sideways</span>, so I'm practically a professional sommelier (interesting note- one of the few instances where the movie is better than the book). But, I once again must remember this book's target audience - the clueless oaf in his backwards baseball cap. This is probably very informative for him.<br /><br />All of the basics are here. White wine goes in the skinnier glass and is held by the stem (so as not to warm it with body temperature), and reds go in the more globular glass and are held by the bowl. This is related to the fact that whites should be chilled, and reds room temperature. This is something of which I still can't convince Melissa. She likes her wine chilled regardless of color, tradition and general knowledge be damned! I love her too much to force the issue, but I did make her drink a room temperature red for this project (She didn't mind, she just <span style="font-style: italic;">prefers</span> chilled). In this case, it was a Syrah. A 2007 local (Santa Barbara) that was quite drinkable. A little watery, maybe, but there was enough flavor there. We bought it as part of the 5 cent wine sale at BevMo (by one bottle of wine, get another bottle of the same wine for a nickel), and it was certainly the best 5 cent wine I've ever had. Honestly, the $15 bottle was good, too. It all comes down to one of Ray's other wine rules - A wine should not taste terrible. This is a big one. I hear a lot of people my age talk about how they don't like wine, and this is generally a good sign that I'm dealing with someone who needs to do some growing up. Put down the Miller High Life and take a sip of a decent wine. Congratulations, you're an adult (unless you didn't like it, in which case, keep trying).<br /><br />The one thing I didn't do with this wine that Ray recommended was decant it. I don't own a decanter. I considered buying one recently at Disneyland. For part of the Haunted Mansion 40th anniversary, the artist <a href="http://www.shag.com">SHAG</a> created a bunch of art and merchandise. I bought quite a few pieces, including the water bottle from which I currently drink, and seriously thought about buying a decanter with Shag's rendition of the changing Medusa painting and some ghosts on it. I imagined myself hosting a dinner party and finishing the night by bringing out some port in the ghostly decanter and offering some "spirits" to guests. They'd laugh and whisper amongst themselves about how witty I was. However, I had already bought some old fashioned glasses (like the bourbon drink, not in the style of antiquity) with similar logos and just couldn't bring myself to splurge. Plus, I have so much Haunted Mansion memorabilia that I was already risking crossing the line from "Disney Fan" to "Disney Collector." That line scares me. I've seen Disney Collectors, and they are not something I aspire to be. I make no promises about not buying it if its still available on my next trip. Anyway, Ray recommends if you don't have a decanter to pour the wine in a bowl and serve it with a turkey baster. I decided not to. The wine tasted fine after letting it breathe in the bottle, and I didn't feel it needed decanting. I may try it at a party in the future, just so people can see how classy I am.<br /><br />Speaking of classy, <span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Diamond Juice. </span></span>Ray's favorite drink has been on my list for the final meal since I first flipped through the cookbook. See, Ray used to have an advice column, in which he would often give advice on libations. He made it clear that his choice of vodka was Ketel One. I've been wanting to buy a bottle ever since, but always made excuses not to (mostly, that's crap's expensive). Well, to celebrate the end of the project, I caved and bought a bottle. It didn't hurt that in the recipe for the final meal (you'll find out what it is soon enough), Ray recommends having some while you prepare it. So, some diamond juice to celebrate! <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/DiamondJuice.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 390px; height: 260px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/DiamondJuice.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>You may be thinking- that just seems like a glass of vodka. You would be correct. Ray admits up front that there's no such thing as a recipe for a Ketel One martini (which is essentially what Diamond Juice is). Chilled vodka in a chilled martini glass. You wouldn't want to try this with Popov or even Absolut or Smirnoff, but Ketel One is damn smooth and drinkable. Even Melissa finished hers, and she's not as used to straight liquor as I am (she doesn't drink single malt Scotch and Whiskey like I do).<br /><br />There is one more element to the drink, and you can see it in the picture - lemon zest. I do not own a lemon zester. Somehow, in all of the barware kits I've had over the years, I still don't have one in my collection. Ray says he got his for his birthday from Pat, and if you don't have one you should either use a vegetable peeler (which I did) or tell Pat when your birthday is (August 17, Pat, but Christmas is coming...). The vegetable peeler made a serviceable, if ugly, zest of lemon. I squeezed the zest over the drink to release essential oils, as instructed. I don't know whether this made any difference or not, but I didn't notice much lemon essence in my drink. I used the zests as a garnish, just so it didn't feel like I was wasting them. Melissa's fell into her drink, and she left it there. She probably got more lemon than I did. Still, it didn't really need it. I really enjoyed drinking my vodka straight (just the way Viktor learned to in Billy Joel's Leningrad), and I felt damn classy just sitting on the couch. Plus, now I have a bottle of Ketel One for future cocktail nights, so it's a big win for me.<br /><br />That's about all there is to say about the drinks. It should surprise no one that this cookbook included 4 drink recipes, and they were all brought to you by Ray. The man/cat likes his liquor. I'll be back tomorrow or Friday with the big post with the final recipes! That's right, there's two of them. Want to know what they are? Then keep checking back, sucker!<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-33028713802364535292009-11-17T13:33:00.000-08:002009-11-17T13:36:32.426-08:00Storm's A-BrewinHey everybody. Not really a big post, but I wanted to let you know I haven't forgotten about you. I know I didn't post anything last week, but I'm making up for it this week with...the end of Selzer & Smuckles! I'm not quitting, it's just finishing up. I have four recipes/articles to cover, and I did them all in one big meal on Sunday. I'm going to split it up into two posts and then probably post an ending summary, if I feel like it. It's going to be a good one folks. Stick around.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-62901868188583603172009-11-06T13:09:00.000-08:002009-11-06T13:48:39.453-08:0012 Step Cookies (p.42)As promised, I'm here on Friday. No slaps for you! One thing I've noticed from watching food television is that most chefs are not necessarily good bakers. In cooking competitions, if dessert comes into play, many great chefs start to panic. I'm kin of the same way. I love cooking over flame, or even tossing a pizza into the oven, but I'm not that comfortable with cakes and cookies and such. So, I considered Pat's <span style="font-weight: bold;">12 Step Cookies</span> to be something of a challenge. As a side note, Pat sure has a lot of recipes in this thing. I've always considered him to something of a side character in the strip, but this cookbook is teeming with his arrogant recipes. And hey, he's a vegan! He can't put eggs into these cookies! I call foul, Achewood!<br /><br />Anyway, cookies. I love to eat them, not good at making them. I was scared. There, you're caught up. Pat starts by instructing you to follow the recipe EXACTLY. Some recipes you can play around with and make your own, but not baked goods. As the book points out, these things are more like scientific formulas than regular recipes. Not in like a molecular gastronomy way, necessarily, it's just important not to go out and try and add your own spices or your cookies will go awry. Of course, being Pat, he yells all of this at you. The editor (Chris Onstad, I assume) chastises him, but agrees not to mess around with this recipe. When someone's nervous about making cookies, this isn't the best way to calm them down. <br /><br />But I went ahead and started preparing the recipe and had a pretty good dough forming. I almost stopped there and just ate the dough because it's the baking where these things tend to fail. The dough itself is delicious, why worry about cooking it? Salmonella, I guess, but in the modern age of pasteurized eggs, it's probably not that much of a threat. Well, I had a cookbook project to complete for the blog, so I went ahead and fired up the oven. As I was starting to<br />spoon up the dough, I noticed a sticker:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/Corrigendum-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 326px; height: 132px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/Corrigendum-1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Are you kidding me!? You go to the hassle of YELLING at me to follow your recipe EXACTLY and you have the BALLS to stick this sticker at the END of the recipe?! Well, great! Now I have a ruined batch of cookie dough melting in a bowl and I have to start ALL THE HELL OVER?? Screw you, Achewood cookbook!!! (Note- This didn't actually happen. I read ahead in every recipe to make sure I can prepare my mise en place. This was an exercise of "creative writing." I thought it would be funny. For those of you not familiar with creative writing, it's where you write about "fiction" or things that didn't actually happen. Examples include screenwriters, novelists, and Fox News reporters. You may proceed with the article now).<br /><br />Ok, well, back in the real world, I pulled out my cookie sheets (which have maybe actually been used for cookies once, when Melissa made some) to get the dough rolled up. Pat recommends using the wrappers from the butter sticks you used in the dough to grease the cookie sheet. I have to say, it worked really well. It looked at first like there wasn't anything stuck to the wrapper and that it wouldn't have any effect, but it surprisingly well-greased and it did a perfect job of keeping the cookies from sticking. I'm sure this tip comes up in Heloise or one of the other old ladies that tells people how to live their lives, but I heard it first from a cartoon cat, and that's the advice I'm more likely to take, anyway. I also liked the tip about rotating the cookies halfway through cooking because the oven cooks differently in different places. It all came together to make a damn fine cookie:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/12StepCookies.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 449px; height: 299px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/12StepCookies.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>They were kinda huge. I mean, you can't quite tell from the picture, but these suckers were thick. Seriously, one or two of these things was plenty. I'm normally a 3-4 cookie at a time kind of guy (which is probably a bad habit, anyway, and explains why I have to run 20 miles a week to keep in shape), but these ones filled me up. They were gooey and VERY chocolaty. The recipe only made about 16 cookies, but used an entire bag of chocolate chips. You would be eating one and suddenly tap into a lode of rich chocolate, like a miner discovering oil or melted diamonds or whatever it is miners find that's liquid. We ate a couple of the cookies and stuck the rest in a tupperware with a slice of bread. This is something I learned from my mom, not a cartoon cat. The bread seems to absorb whatever it is that dries cookies out in the atmosphere of a tupperware container and keeps the cookies nice and chewy for a long period of time. The bread, on the other hand, feels like a cracker. It's a neat trick, and I don't know what makes it work. The cookies lasted about a week, which in our house is a pretty significant amount of time for sweets to last. We just couldn't eat that many of them at once. So, I guess that's it. I conquered my fear and made a tasty treat that can be enjoyed by anyone- I mean, who doesn't like a cookie? Everyone from Jesus to Hitler likes cookies. Yes, even Albert Einstein (probably). I'll make them again, saying I"m going to take them to a potluck or something, but I'll probably eat them myself. That's all for now. Only a couple of posts left in the series, people. Start planning your "End of Selzer & Smuckles" parties now. Until then...<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-49490651937569590702009-11-04T13:09:00.000-08:002009-11-04T13:48:08.440-08:00Scotch Eggs (p.39)I have always associated <span style="font-weight: bold;">Scotch Eggs</span> with being disgusting. It stems from the brief vacation I took to London in college to visit my aunt and uncle. I never actually ate any scotch eggs while I was there, and in fact I enjoyed the British foods I did eat (fish and chips, bangers and mash, etc). Food in the UK has a bad reputation, but I didn't mind it a bit. It probably didn't hurt that I was 18 and allowed to drink beer legally, so the food was an afterthought. Still, a trip to the supermarket brought about some oddities, and I lumped the scotch egg in with these. The can of spotted dick putting, canned "American style" hamburgers (the likes of which I've never seen in the US), meats made from animals and parts of animals that I thought only existed in Arthurian legend. Plus, I think the name associated itself with Scotland in my brain, which in turn associated it with haggis. <br /><br />Still, looking at Cornelius's recipe, I couldn't fathom why I wouldn't like such a thing. It's basically a delicious breakfast all rolled up in one easy-to-eat package. Mr. Bear mentions this as a traditional pub food, and I certainly would order it while out for a drink. I honestly don't know why these haven't caught on more as an American bar staple. It's a hard-boiled egg, wrapped in spicy sausage, and breaded. This is really just a step away from those KFC amalgamation bowls that America seems to love, and those require silverware! Seriously, America, let's make this happen. I don't care if you have to rename them Uncle Sam's American Eagle Eggs, we need more bars serving these little beauties:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/ScotchEggs.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 468px; height: 312px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/ScotchEggs.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Ok, beauties may be too strong of a descriptor. I admit that I didn't make the most attractive appetizers the bar world has ever seen. Part of this stems from the hard boiled eggs. I'm just not good at them. I mean, they're easy enough to make, but I've had a terrible time getting the shells off, both here and with the <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/09/smoked-salmon-on-potato-coins-p15-and.html">deviled eggs</a>. I even let these eggs sit in the fridge for a couple of weeks because that's what all the websites recommend, but I still had a hell of a time. I was happy to wrap these things in sausage so I didn't have to look at them anymore.<br /><br />This was a unique recipe for me because it was the first time I've made one of these Achewood recipes for someone other than myself and my wife. My good friend <a href="http://www.eros-inc.com">Mike Smith</a> (of Eros, Inc. fame) was hosting a screening of a movie on which he had a writing credit. The movie is called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Humanitys-End-Jay-Laisne/dp/B002DQL364/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1257370773&sr=8-1">Humanity's End</a>, and Mike will be one of the first to admit that it's terrible (he had very little to do with the finished product, really). As such, he encouraged drinking and I decided to bring a plate of drinking food. So, I walked into a room full of vegetarians (this is Silver Lake, people, one of the more liberal sections of LA...think about that) with a plate full of unborn baby chickens wrapped in ground up pig. I ate nearly a third of them, to "prime the engine" so to speak. Finally, some more omnivores arrived and helped me out. They were a hit! One of my friends, Chris Yule (I don't have a link for him, but he's currently the guy in the "Cash grab" booth on the E-Surance commercial, and he's incredibly funny and one of the nicest guys I know. You'd like him) had spent some time in the UK and he was thrilled to see a plate of scotch eggs. They were one of his favorites, apparently, and he told me that mine were everything a scotch egg should be. That made me very proud. I'll admit it, I cook because I like to eat, but I also enjoy people telling me how much they enjoy something I've made or seeing people who are impressed that I know how to cook at all. It's a nice feeling.<br /><br />Ok, that's about it for today. New post Friday, I promise. If it's not there, you can hunt me down and slap me open-hand across the face.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-19911103430224350342009-10-26T13:25:00.000-07:002009-10-26T22:15:54.682-07:00Brined Pork Tenderloin (p. 30) with Caramelized Onions (p. 23)What the hell? I have a blog? Aw crap, I should probably write something here. Yeah, I know it's been over a week since I posted anything. It's not that I haven't been cooking, I just haven't been writing about it. Selzer & Smuckles has continued in the real world, I just need to play catchup with my writeups. So let's not waste anymore time. This is my second foray into brining, a technique I probably wouldn't have tried if not for this project. And, well, spoiler alert - it went really, really well. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Brined Pork Tenderloin</span> is brought to us by Teodor, and so my expectations were high going in. I had this one earmarked early on as something that might be a cut above the rest of the cookbook, partly because Teodor is a renowned foodie and partly because it sounded pretty delicious.<br /><br />The procedure began pretty much the same as the <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/10/ruuude-chicken-p-24.html">Ruuude Chicken</a>. Fill a pot with water, salt, sugar and spices and throw some meat in. Thankfully, a pork loin is significantly smaller than a whole chicken, and the recipe didn't call for quite as much brine. I had a container easily large enough to hold the solution: my slow cooker crock. The recipe called for the pork to sit in the brine for anywhere from overnight to 3 days. I opted for the longer time. More time for flavor to get in. That's science, right? Anyway, the pork loin is not an attractive cut of meat. It's a sad, cheap cut that sits in a roll amongst the other, more popular cuts of a pig. When you see it sitting in a bucket of saltwater, your first thought isn't really, "I bet that thing tastes great." It's usually something more like, "Who cut off this horse penis and why are they giving it a bath?" See for yourself:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/PorkBrine.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 342px; height: 228px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/PorkBrine.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>That's basically the entire preparation for the meal. After the brining is complete, you throw it in the oven until it reads a safe temperature (160 degrees). The temperature is important with pork, unless of course you want to die. After that, it's up to the chef to make it look like something someone would willingly eat. Baking a moist meat log doesn't really give you any kind of crust, so even out of the oven you have a grayish, round hunk of pork. The Achewood Cookbook doesn't really go into presentation or serving most of its recipes, and this one basically ended with taking it out of the oven. I went with what I believe to be the standard option and cut it into medallions, about an inch thick. I stacked them in an attractive, fan-like pattern like I've seen on the TV (incidentally, I made this on "pork night" on Top Chef...yes, I'm that far behind...and I think this recipe would have fared pretty well compared to some of the losers). I must say, I'm rather proud of this one. I'm usually awful at presentation, and this at least looked decent:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/BrinedPorkLoin.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 329px; height: 218px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/BrinedPorkLoin.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>But we aren't done yet! That's right, you wait this long, you get a two-fer! The recipe said it should be served with <span style="font-weight: bold;">Caramelized Onions</span>, also by Teodor. I think most of the time I've always considered sauteed or grilled onions to be caramelized, but I knew in my heart I was wrong. Caramelization, according to Wikipedia, refers to the "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxidation" title="Oxidation" class="mw-redirect">oxidation</a> of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugar" title="Sugar">sugar</a>" as "a type of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-enzymatic_browning" title="Non-enzymatic browning" class="mw-redirect">non-enzymatic browning</a>." The Scribe and Mouse, now with research! Anyway, the caramelization essentially boiled down to (pun intended) making a balsamic vinegar reduction with a sliced onion. The result was that great, kind of slimy texture I've come to love from a caramelized onion. The flavor was maybe a little too vinegary for my tastes, but it wasn't overpowering by any stretch and it worked with the dish. I've seen other caramelized onion recipes that call for varies wines, and I may have to try them in the future. Anyway, I topped the pork with the onions, and was ready to serve:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/CarmelizedOnions.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 422px; height: 281px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/CarmelizedOnions.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>You can see the side I made in the background - pan-fried red potatoes with garlic and thyme. I also put some applesauce on the plate, for tradition's sake. This was easily the best meal Achewood has provided thus far. The meat was succulent and flavorful and the onions provided a nice, contrasting sweetness and tang to the salty pork. I've always considered pork to be a salty meat, and was worried that the brine would be like overkill on the old sodium chloride. These fears were misguided. The dish was elegant and balanced, and honestly tasted like something I'd order in a restaurant. Melissa doesn't usually eat pork (not a religious thing, she just doesn't like it much) and she gobbled this up. She absolutely loved it (I may have turned a corner with her and pork; we'll see). I couldn't blame her. The ate every bite on my plate and still wanted more. This is the kind of thing I expect from Teodor - classy food that's a step above the "open can and heat" mentality of some of the rest of the Achewood Cookbook. It was a fantastic meal, the kind we don't always get at home. Our nightly dinners have a tendency to blend together as we consume foods that we consider "favorites" or "easy to prepare" or "not bad for cheap." And that's fine. If we didn't have mundane dinners, quality like this wouldn't stand out so much. It made a Wednesday night in front of the TV feel like a special occasion.<br /><br />Ok, that's it for today. I'll be back soon (I promise) with more tales of the kitchen.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-91905358741632667012009-10-16T21:43:00.000-07:002009-10-16T22:15:09.349-07:00Chef Ray's No-Butter, No-Fry Hot Wings! (Insert)Ok, this recipe isn't truly a part of the cookbook. I got this one for ordering the (now apparently defunct) cook's gift set from Achewood. It included the book, an apron, and the item that turned out to be the main ingredient for today's dish: Ray's Rad Chilies Hot Sauce:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/RadChilies.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 254px; height: 169px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/RadChilies.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>So what is a rad chili, you may ask? Well, to put it bluntly, it is an invented slang word for a man (or cartoon cat)'s junk. In an alternate version of an early strip, Ray is being advised on how to treat a lady. Ray's question in this alternate version is "Can I still call my junk my rad chilies?" The phrase sort of took off from there. It's also the name of my fantasy football team. As an aside, in case I haven't explained who Ray is well enough, I think this picture on the side of the bottle sums him up rather succinctly.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/EveryWeekday.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 369px; height: 246px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/EveryWeekday.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>If you can't read that, it says, "Every Weekday." This is how I like to picture Ray's weekdays (and any wealthy man of leisure, for that matter): Playing saxophone on the pier in a thong and a captains hat. Class.<br /><br />Today's recipe is pretty much what its title implies: <span style="font-weight: bold;">No butter, no fry hot wings</span>.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>My family makes something similar to this; we call them Flood Wings. I'm not positive where the name comes from, but I've always assumed that they were first made during the big Iowa floods of 1993 and the name just stuck. I'm sure my parents will correct me in the comments if I'm wrong. I've never made them myself, but they're very popular at family gatherings. They bake in the oven and are a nice change from the deep fried treat guzzled at tailgating parties like potato chips. They have a nice, smoky teriyaki flavor without letting you forget that you're eating wings. As I start to cook more, I've been fascinated by the chicken wing. When you make a whole bird, you're usually told to throw it away. What entrepreneur had the rad chilies to say, "Don't throw them out, give them to me! I'll pretend they're desirable and sell them for millions!" ? Amazing.<br /><br />Anyway, Ray's wings aren't entirely like flood wings. I have a feeling the method is similar, but the sauce is different. In this case, instead of whatever teriyaki my parents use, Ray uses his rad chilies sauce. You coat both sides and then coat them once or twice more during cooking. The real innovation here for me was what the recipe calls "lollipopping." The recipe only uses drumettes (and I agree that the other kind of wing is a pain in the ass), and you snip the meat at the thin end and push it towards the fat end. This creates a very convenient handle, virtually eliminating the mess. Observe:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/HotWings.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 372px; height: 248px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/HotWings.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I made these, grabbed a beer, and turned on football. It felt right. It felt natural. Ray's hot sauce is very flavorful. It may just be from one of those places that makes generic hot sauces and slaps labels on it, but it didn't really taste like it. Maybe I was distracted by the "Every Weekday" saxophone. It was a solid winner of a recipe that managed to be new while still reminding me both of my home and a favorite junk food. The only downside is that I ended up using about half of the bottle of hot sauce. The stuff isn't that cheap (including shipping), and you can only order it online. And now there's a recipe that uses most of the bottle? I smell a scam, Onstad. I want to make these in a larger batch for a party sometime, but I have to imagine I'll use a cheaper hot sauce that I can buy in bulk (as the recipe calls it, a "lesser-quality hot sauce"). It may not be exactly the same, but I doubt most people would even notice. They'd just be impressed that I turned on the oven instead of ordering wings from Pizza Hut. Most people are easily impressed. I'm rambling. Good night.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-8745895622945395722009-10-14T22:59:00.000-07:002009-10-14T23:22:35.096-07:00Omega Potato (p. 40)This is another one of Achewood's incredibly basic recipes. Do you know how to bake a potato? Of course you do. You don't need a book to tell you how to do it. And yet, I have to remember the key demographic for this cookbook- grown men who still wear baseball caps backwards and have Al Pacino posters on their walls, unframed. I suppose even the best of us (not that I think of myself as "the best") could use a refresher. And Pat's <span style="font-weight: bold;">Omega Potato</span> method is a little different from what I normally do, so what the hell?<br /><br />The recipe calls for a hotter oven than I usually use, and a longer cooking time. Naturally, I was concerned about burning after the "<a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/08/flavor-burgers-p31-and-perfect-over.html">Perfect Oven Fries</a>" incident, but that wasn't the case this time. The real concern for me was that I wasn't supposed to do anything to the potato before putting it in the oven (aside from scrubbing, of course). I normally coat with olive oil and salt before cooking, and I also poke holes in the sides to prevent explosions. And that's where I had to draw the line. Pat specifically states not to do ANYTHING, including poking ventilation holes. I did a little research while the oven was preheating. There were several stories and message board comments that read, "I've cooked potatoes in the oven without poking holes for years without incident." Of course, the next sentence was invariably, "Until last night when a potato exploded, killing my wife and children" (ok, maybe it just made a mess of the oven, whatever). So, I made an executive decision and poked holes in the potato anyway. My oven's crappy enough without being caked in potato bits. An hour and a half at 500 degrees later, I had my potato.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/OmegaPotato.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 348px; height: 261px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/OmegaPotato.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I should start out by saying that there's not nearly as much of the dill and sour cream sauce as it looks like there is on that plate. It's a very thin spread, I was trying to be creative. The potato had what could almost be described as two skins. There's the outer skin, which was like I've had on every potato (maybe a little crunchier), and then there was a tougher inner skin. When I cut into it, I was afraid it felt incredibly tough and dry. I was surprised and delighted to find myself wrong. The starch inside was light and fluffy. I normally like butter and sour cream in my BPs (that's what the kids on the street call baked potatoes), but Pat's recipe recommended a few glugs of olive oil, so that's what I did. The flavor was nice, though I did end up putting a little sour cream in there, too. The bigger issue was that the crunchy skin of the potato was also apparently quite porous on the bottom. Within 5 minutes, I had a large puddle of olive oil under the potato. It eventually seeped all over the plate, getting on my salmon and mixing into the dill sauce. It didn't detract from the potato, but the potato is just a side and it did detract from the dish. Live and learn. So, nothing too difficuly, but I suppose there are people who could use a refresher on where babies and baked potatoes come from. It doesn't have to be fancy to be fun.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-77427445328686138852009-10-09T22:51:00.000-07:002009-10-09T23:21:20.933-07:00Ruuude Chicken (p. 24)Welcome to the wonderful world of brining! While I'm sure I've eaten brined food in the past (it seems like something my dad would do, and he's cooked a lot of awesome meals for me in the past), it's my first time doing it myself. It seems pretty easy on paper- 2 gallons of water, salt, sugar, and spices. In real life...well, it was pretty easy there, too. The only problem I had was that I didn't have a pot, bucket, or any kind of container that could hold 2 gallons of water. One of those things I probably should have checked before I went out shopping. Oh well, I made it work (yes, I just watched Project Runway. My wife likes it. Shut up). Anyway, I went to buy a free range, organic chicken like Ray's recipe told me to, but that business was, like, $13 for a 4 pound bird at Trader Joe's. I won't be getting paid from the new job for two weeks, so I decided I could do better at Ralph's. Now, for those of you not from California, Ralph's is a big supermarket. Think Kroger if you're in the South (same parent company) or Hy-Vee in the Midwest. I'm sure other parts of the country have supermarkets, too. Anyway, you would expect your supermarket to have more than 2 whole chickens for sale in the whole store. If you were me, you would be wrong. Ralph's had 2 three pound fryers in the produce section and not even anything frozen. I even asked a person if there was some place I wasn't looking (if you know me, you know this is a big deal for me). Nope. I settled for the 3 pounder, grumbling all the way (though for $5, it's hard to argue with the price). Just so Ralph's doesn't look terrible, I did save a fortune on cloves by buying them in the Mexican bagged spice aisle instead of the spice jar aisle. $10 for a jar, 69 cents for a bag with about the same amount. But I digress.<br /><br />Using the smaller bird, I was content to make less brine. I filled my stock pot up with 1.75 gallons of water and cut the spices by the same ratio (maths!). Then I put the chicken in and watched even more water flow out of the pot. Oh well, at least the mixture was the right amounts. I covered it and put it in the fridge overnight, because, as the recipe says, "The greatest talent of a chicken is to unleash death if not kept at the proper low temperatures prior to cooking."<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/ChickenBrine.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 458px; height: 343px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/ChickenBrine.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>This is another hilariously written recipe. All of Ray's entries in the books are written in a very colorful stream of consciousness that can make it hard to actually follow the recipe, but makes it much more entertaining to read. I guess that's so if the recipes turn out terrible, you at least feel like you got your money's worth. Plus, if you're going to make a cookbook based on a webcomic, it makes sense to make it funny. Thankfully, this one didn't turn out terrible.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/RuuudeChicken.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 473px; height: 354px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/RuuudeChicken.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The meat was nice and moist and stayed that way for three days in the fridge. That's no small feat; chicken has a real tendency to dry out in the fridge and just be horrible a day or two later. I even enjoyed the skin, even if the recipe says it's, "hella bad for you," and, "might not be so rad." I wouldn't call it "rad," exactly, but it was certainly edible. Still, the dish suffered from one critical flaw- it was chicken. I mentioned it with the <a href="http://eliselzer.blogspot.com/2009/09/beer-can-chicken-p45.html">Beer Can Chicken</a>, but I have yet to find a chicken recipe that ended up tasting like anything other than chicken. Not that that's a bad thing, really, it's just that you always know what to expect with chicken, you can't be surprised. Maybe that's ok for some people, but I like a little mystery on a menu. I like to taste something I've never tasted before, or at least something I have tasted presented in a way that catches me off guard. I can't imagine ordering chicken at a fancy restaurant because there's really no way it will blow my mind. I can't picture anything that Emerils or Batalis of the world could do with a chicken that would make it taste that different from what I do in my apartment. Maybe Wylie Dufresne and the molecular gastronomists could do something different, but to me, chicken is a "white bread" white meat. The difference between fried, grilled, and baked chicken is really just a matter of texture. Get past the outer layer and it's plain old poultry. I'd love for someone to prove me wrong. Consider that a challenge.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-90269942432859346032009-10-07T17:29:00.001-07:002009-10-07T17:52:03.004-07:00Five Dollar Chili (p.35)I normally don't like to make chili during the summer. Melissa has no such scruples. She loves a spicy, meaty soup any time of the year. Still, I was glad that by the time I got around to making Roast Beef's <span style="font-weight: bold;">Five Dollar Chili</span>, the temperature had dropped into the 50s at night in LA. Cool enough for me. This is not to say I didn't have some trepidation about making this chili. When I bought the cookbook, Chris Onstad was still willing to personalize it with a sketch and signature. This is what mine looked like:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/AchewoodSketch.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 339px; height: 472px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/AchewoodSketch.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>In case you can't read that, Roast Beef is telling me, "Don't make the chili" (by the way, I was thrilled that my personalized drawing was Roast Beef). My assumption is that this has something to do with the fact that chili makes you gassy. I support my assumption with the fact that my wife ordered this as a gift and the recipe starts with the line, "This recipe is basically for a man who is alone in his life." Well, I make my own chili quite a lot, so our apartment is no stranger to farting. We're cool with it. Melissa wasn't going to let a little gas stand in the way of a chili.<br /><br />To start, despite what the recipe says, I wasn't not able to make this chili for five dollars. I spent more than that on the stew meat. Granted, I bought organic, free range beef instead of the cheap stuff, but I priced the plain-Jane beef cubes out at the regular store and I still doubt I could make the chili for five bucks. Beef just ain't that cheap. Still, it certainly didn't break the bank, especially since it made enough for two or three meals. I had never used stew meat cubes in making a chili before. My recipe calls for ground beef (I often use turkey- you can't taste a different, what you taste is the beans and spices). So really, this was a whole different animal.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/Chili.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 392px; height: 294px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/Chili.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>But at the end of the day, chili is pretty much chili. It was very tasty, but not shockingly different from the stuff I regularly make. I usually cook in a slow cooker, but I could cook it in a put just as well. The real difference was in the texture. Even though the beef flaked easily (think a pulled pork barbecue sandwich), it was a little harder to eat with a spoon than ground beef. A large cube just takes up too much spoon real estate, whereas ground meat blends nicely into a soup. This chili also only used one can of beans, while my recipe uses at least three. The gravy that beans sit in inside the can almost certainly adds more liquid to the mix than what I found in my pot. As a result, the Achewood chili came out thicker than my usual fare. This wasn't a bad thing, it just reminded me of the kind of chili you can buy in a can (which I use to make chili dogs). I wonder if that's the intention of Roast Beef's chili- to use as a topping. He does list several meal possibilities at the end (eggs, rice, etc). I imagine it would me good on spaghetti in a classic Cincinnati chili. I guess I just expect a more soupy quality when I make chili. Like I said, this wasn't a knock on the recipe. It was delicious, and I enjoyed finishing it over the course of a couple of days.<br /><br />And the farting? Well, no more than any other day in the Selzer Apartment. I apologize if that offends you; you shouldn't have asked. What's that? You didn't? Oh right, I just offered it freely. Sorry about that.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2910095264269022092.post-91470045601997549502009-10-06T10:41:00.000-07:002009-10-06T10:55:47.903-07:00Vegetables Delight (p. 16)Almost every writeup I see of the Achewood Cookbook mentions that it includes a fake recipe. Chris Onstad's forward blatantly states that one of the recipes is impossible. I believe I have found that recipe in Ray's <span style="font-weight: bold;">Vegetables Delight</span>. See, the conceit of the book is that Chris is paying his characters to provide recipes for the project. Ray apparently was assigned something called Vegetables Delight. Why you wouldn't give this recipe to Pat, the Vegan, I don't know. Ray sure isn't happy about it. In fact, 95% of this "recipe" is Ray complaining about how terrible vegetables are. He's angry at the recipe, angry about Chinese restaurants that serve things called "Vegetables Delight," and mad at you, the reader, for having to explain what a vegetable is. I hope Mr. Onstad won't mind that I'm going to post the actual cooking portion of this recipe in its entirety, just so you get what I'm dealing with:<br />"Peel five carrots and microwave them for ten minutes OKAY I'M DONE GOODBYE"<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/VegetablesDelight.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 364px; height: 273px;" src="http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z190/eliselzer/Selzer%20Smuckles/VegetablesDelight.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Yep, I made it anyway. I'm that committed to this project. And that is what carrots look like after sitting in the microwave for ten minutes. They were a strange amalgam of moisture and dryness. The texture was downright disturbing. It kind of felt like a mushy potato with a very thick skin, but if feeling them blind you'd probably think it was some kind of eviscerated internal organ. The tough, dry exterior (after much chewing and gnawing) yielded to a molten mush of baby food-style carrot innards. I took one bite and was still trying to finish swallowing five minutes later. The rest went straight into the trash. I'm committed, but not <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> committed. These carrots cost me 67 cents. That's 67 cents I will never see again. If we come up 67 cents short of being able to afford rent this month, I expect Achewood to provide me with a new apartment.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Elieliselzerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10075881859273811974noreply@blogger.com0