Words of Wisdom (Teeth)

I've been out of service for the last few days after having my wisdom teeth taken out on Friday morning. Things are OK now, but I'm dying for some solid food. I was only really in pain the first day and now I'm just waiting for the stitches to dissolve and the swelling to go down. So, I'm back on my feet and ready to blog! It's going to be another random thoughts collection today, but I promise I'm not making these a habit. One of these days I'll have a posting with a coherent theme, I swear.

Saturday Night Live- Your opening sketch last week about Obama getting preferential treatment over Clinton in the media was funny. It was, however, at least 3 minutes too long and Fred Armisen did a horrible impression of Obama. Your opening sketch THIS week about Obama getting preferential treatment over Clinton in the media was tedious. Maybe its because it was THE EXACT SAME IDEA as the one that was 3 minutes too long last week! You took something that was too long already and made it nearly 10 minutes longer! Sure, having the real Hilary there was fun, but she didn't add anything to the sketch.
And Fred Armisen...man. I'm not a fan of his in general, and this Obama impression just made it worse. I don't care that he's a white guy playing a black guy. There's no black guy in the cast right now, so you do what you've got to do. The impression just makes it look like he's never even heard of the man he's impersonating. By the end of this week's sketch, I expected him to ask the moderator of the debate for a Pic-a-nic basket. Have you ever thought Obama sounded like Yogi Bear? Apparently Fred Armisen has. Mr. Armisen- I'm sure you're a lovely person, but you have once again failed to show me any real talent. Go find an improv troupe that's looking for a guy who can do a fake Brooklyn accent (seriously, 80% of the characters he plays use this same voice) and leave SNL for the professionals.
Maybe he's a better writer than a performer, I don't know. I just haven't ever been impressed. And writers? Give me something original this week. I can't suffer through that sketch again.

Commercials- Denny's? Those commercials with Paulie Walnuts from The Sopranos? I have a few questions. Why would he go to a restaurant just to give a clerk fake money for a "fake" breakfast? If you don't like a place, you don't have to go there. There seem to be a lot of commercials where irate people take things out on cashiers and customer service reps. You shouldn't encourage this kind of behavior. I understand that we as Americans feel entitled to having everything catered to us, but if we don't get our way, we shouldn't be taking it out on the poor folks on the front lines. It's NEVER their fault. Please treat your customer service people with respect.
McDonald's? You have a commercial for your breakfast burrito in which one guy gets mad at his roommate (presumably) for buying breakfast instead of making it. He says, "Hey, the deal was that you'd MAKE me breakfast." What deal? What is this man trading for breakfasts? Young man, you should never debase and degrade yourself for cooked eggs. They're easy to make youself...have some dignity.
One more thing- should we just make a commercial for our country saying, "America- lie to your wives and girlfriends and do whatever you can not to work!"? Because that's the general idea that 90% of our commercials are espousing right now. If I see one more commercial about a guy who comes up with a crazy scheme for getting away from his wife to hang out with the guys, I'm going to lose it. Here's a crazy scheme- Tell your wife you'd like to hang out with your friends, and if she's too controlling to ever let you, maybe there's a bigger issue and you should be spending some time with her instead of finding ways to smuggle cheap beer into important events in her life. Sheesh.

And finally, briefly, Politics- Hilary Clinton today says that she's, "Just getting warmed up." Um, Hilary? I admire the sentiment and I'm certainly not counting you out, but isn't it a little late for warm ups? Even if you were leading, this thing is coming into the home stretch. The bottom of the ninth isn't the time to start warming up your starting pitcher. Maybe you should have gotten warmed up in December or January. Just sayin'.

Ok, that's enough long-windedness.

Cheers,
Eli