Saturday, August 22, 2009

Satellite TV (p.11) (plus, Mamma Mia!)

Ok, this isn't a recipe. Brought to us by Ray, Satellite TV is more of a craft project than a recipe. You make a garnish similar to the Drink of Tomorrow, then you pour gin on top of it. Done. Now granted, if Ray were real (instead of being a cartoon cat), this is probably what he would consider a recipe. I know I haven't explained Ray yet, really, but just know that he would consider this to be pretty advanced. Once again, the cookbook called for a specific variety of toothpick (black plastic) that I didn't have. I'm not made of money, Achewood cookbook, I only have one kind of toothpick. I'm not speaking ill of this drink, exactly; I enjoyed several of them this evening. But it wouldn't be fair to call it a recipe.

So, there's not much to discuss. Instead, I'm going to talk about the movie I watched while enjoying these. Mamma Mia! would be awfully hard to enjoy without the IV drip of gin that I had. I take that back: it's probably enjoyable, it's just not intelligent or coherent. I have never before seen such a flimsy premise to string together an array of "popular" songs. I'm not a huge Abba fan, and that probably didn't help. I'm going to give you a basic synopsis of what happened in this movie: nothing. A girl doesn't know who her father is, and at the end (spoiler alert) she still doesn't. No one has any serious conflict, they just sing and "dance" around. The choreography of this movie felt like what we called at Valdosta State "Jacque-ography" (that's not a compliment for this movie). You know me. I love musicals. Love them more than most straight men. I just couldn't make it through this one without a steady dose of alcohol.

It's weird for a fan of musicals to say this, but what would have helped Mamma Mia! most is to cut a couple of songs. I started tuning them out because they had absolutely no bearing on the plot. The structure of this movie was, "Inane dialogue->flimsy pretense-> Abba song-> Repeat->The End." Also, no one should have ever let Pierce Brosnan sing. Also also, how do you make an Abba musical and not include Fernando? One of the dads couldn't be named Fernando? This one song would have added a full star to my rating. Seriously. Thanks to Ray's Satellite TV drink, I made it through.

Then, we watched the latest James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace. It was a little hard to follow (and that's not just a result of the gin), but it was entertaining and at least stuff blew up. Mamma Mia! would have been better if stuff blew up. I'm just sayin'.

I had the realization as I was watching Mamma Mia! that if I had stayed as a musical theater actor, at some point later in my career I would have ended up playing one of the fathers. This made me sad, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it. I probably would have loved every minute of it.

Ok, it's late (at least, it's late for someone who got up at 6am on a Saturday to run 8 miles) and I'm drunk. REaally very drunk. I'm going to have a glass of water and go to bed. I don't think I'm going to get anything done tomorrow. Peace out y'alls.


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