How I spent my Weekend. By Eli- age 6

Man, I gotta tell you, I love Disneyland. And Disney World, too. If I had a choice to be anywhere at almost any given moment, I would choose a Disney theme park. I bring this up because last Friday, I took my parents there and it straight up kicked ass. The off-season started this past week (and basically only lasts until the Halloween promotion starts up) and there were absolutely NO lines in the park. Middle of the day, we were waiting 10 minutes for Space Mountain. As someone who usually doesn't mind lines, I was downright giddy. Melissa says I turn five as soon as I pass through the gates of Disneyland, and on Friday I certainly felt 5. The only downside was that the Haunted Mansion was closed while they put up the Nightmare Before Christmas overlay. Since I normally ride the mansion between 3 and 6 times on each trip, this made a big difference. Oh well, next time.

I can't put my finger on exactly what appeals to me so much about Disney. I think more than anything it's the attention to detail. When I'm walking around Adventureland, I can convince myself I'm in an Indiana Jones movie. Main Street just feels like home. It's unlike anywhere else I've been, and it just makes me happy. I love it, and I'm not ashamed to say that I love it. I think everyone should check out one of the parks with me at some time. Sure, you can have fun by yourself, but going with me is like getting a guided tour. Please, share my love.

We also took my parents to the LA Zoo. I live about 5 minutes away from the zoo and had never been. It always looked kind of small and unimpressive, especially considering the king of all American zoos is just a couple hours away in San Diego. I was pleasantly surprised by what I found. We got there early before the heat kicked in, and as a result, we got to see the animals actually moving most of the time. It was a much better collection than I was expecting (though the living environments seemed a little too small to me). Lots of cool little primates and some great giraffes who were practically blocking the walkway with their necks. But the highlight was the orangutans. I love apes and monkeys. If you know me, you're already aware of this. These orangutans were simply awesome. There was a two year old that was just going nuts, and actually used one of those swinging ropes like Tarzan, which I've never seen an animal do in person before. Also, she stuck her finger up her but for a really long time. Hehe, I'm a grown up.

The adult males were also impressively large and they were sitting right up by the glass in their habitat, which made for some great viewing. But it was while reading the story of Eloise that I got to thinking. Eloise is the oldest orangutan in the clan and she's been at the zoo the longest. She also has cerebral palsy (I believe that's the one it said she had) and other mental disabilities. Now- how great of a children's song or book would "Eloise the Retarded Orangutan" be? Sure, it might offend some of the sensitive types, but it could teach a message or something. I haven't really thought it out, it's just a fun title.

" 'Eloise, you shouldn't take that baby! It's not a doll and it's not yours!' But it was too late, and the zoo keeper knew it was going to be a long day."