Things I've Done

Sing Us A Song
Originally uploaded by EliCubs

Hey there, faithful followers, sorry I've been AWOL. I'd love to say it was for some great, noble cause, but I just haven't felt like blogging much in the last week. I guess I've been a little busier than usual at work. With the strike over we've had roughly 15 scripts submitted to us in the last week. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Let's see, the wife and I went to see Billy Joel at the hockey arena in Anaheim on Saturday. As always, Billy puts on a hell of a show. It was basically the same show I saw in Chicago almost a year ago, but highly entertaining. And the picture is the actual view from our seats. It's like I told Ticketmaster, "As far away as possible, please." But it was all good, the arena was fairly small and we had a nice clear view.

Last week, I ran 5k for the first time ever. I did it again this morning. That's a pretty big accomplishment for me. I went from sedentary to 5k in about 3 months. I also signed up for the Disneyland 5k Fun Run in August. I don't see myself as the kind of guy who will be racing every week, but this seemed like a low key event and a good excuse to run around the parks before they open for the day. Should be fun.

What else? Not much, I guess. Here's a list of new technology I'd like to have if anyone feels like dropping $500 on me for no reason: Blu-Ray player (a profile 2.0 player when they come out in a couple of months, or a PS3, which is generally considered the best player out there right now, even though I'd rather have a 360 for gaming), speaking of which- Xbox 360, Time Capsule (Apple's wireless hard drive thingy), Canon Digital Rebel XTI, iPhone (whenever the next version comes out). Hm, maybe I should just save myself some time and rob a Best Buy (note to government wiretappers/spies- I'm kidding).

So yeah, that's about it. I'll try to do a better job of updating this thing.

Cheers,
Eli

Bettering Myself

I've decided to stop typing "www" when I enter web addresses. Any modern browser will add it automatically if you need it, and many sites don't even use it anymore. And here I've been, wasting my time and energy with three extra keystrokes every time I visit a website. And frankly, as much time as I spend online, that's a lotta W's. I could be using those keystrokes to write something I could sell (I'm assuming that there is a finite number of keystrokes available to me and I don't want to be wasting them on erroneous W's).

Here's the rub. I've been typing in URLs for over ten years. Getting out of the habit of typing the triple W is proving to be VERY difficult. I type it by instinct, even if I don't know the rest of the address I'm typing. Half the time I make the effort not to type it, only to notice I already have. I need your support. I'm thinking of getting a WWW-Typing Support ribbon made up- has green with yellow stripes been used?

Cheers,
Eli

Happy Valentine's, Sentient Being

Happy Valentine's, Sentient Being
Originally uploaded by EliCubs

Me and the missus aren't much for Valentine's Day, so we don't have much of anything planned. She did, however, give me this totally rockin' valentine last night.

The last few years, she's tried to get the tackiest Valentine's cards she could find to hand out at work. Last year, it was temporary tattoos. This year, it's Transformers. In case you can't read it, mine says, "FREEDOM is the RIGHT of ALL Sentient Beings, Valentine!"

That Optimus Prime sure has a way with words doesn't he? He can get right to a lady's heart. Fellas, I recommend you try this line tonight. Light some candles, open that fancy bottle of wine, get real close to your lady, sensuously caress her shoulders, and whisper in her ear, "Freedom is the right of ALL sentient beings, baby." You're guaranteed to get lucky. Let me know, in detail, how it works.

Cheers,
Eli

Our Long National Nightmare...

That's right, folks, everything can return to normal. Our long national nightmare is at last at an end. I am, of course, referring to...the baseball offseason. As of today, February 13th, pitchers and catchers have reported to Spring Training for the Chicago Cubs at HoHoKam Park in Mesa, AZ. We're just two weeks away from Spring Training games, where we can watch our favorite players for one inning before they give way to the superstars (and car salesmen) of tomorrow. And just one month after that, real baseball begins. Sure, we've had football to keep us company since October, but it's not the same. And this week and a half since the Super Bowl has been terrible. Apparently, tall gentlemen have taken to wearing short pants and playing a game called "Baskets-ball" or some such nonsense. This is the first I'm hearing of it. And hockey. Well. I actually like hockey, and even I can't be bothered to watch it with any frequency. If I see a hockey game on TV, I'll look at who's playing and if it isn't the Penguins, Red Wings, or Thrashers; there's zero chance I'm watching. (Those teams each stand about a 25% chance of me watching, but even then it's unlikely I'll watch the whole thing). And with young superstar Sidney Crosby out for months, there's even less excitement.

Then, over on the horizon, you can see a glimmer of light. Is it Apollo's fingers pulling forth the dawn? Is it the Aurora Borealis dancing its graceful spectral ballet? Is it the lamp of a lady, beckoning you to her hidden cottage for comfort and warmth? It is all of these things and more- it is Spring Training. Baseball has returned.

Seriously, this is the best time of year to be a Cubs fan. The optimism of the new season is fresh and the harsh reality of defeat has yet to fall upon our shoulders. All of that, "Wait until next year" crap? Next year is HERE, brother! One hundred years of futility have led to this, and we all expect it to end this October. We're a good team in a bad division, so we've got a real shot. Plus, we made the playoffs last year and this year's team looks a bit better (on paper, anyway). I am ready to waste my time watching baseball once again, and I have a good feeling about the 2008 Cubs. But ask me again in July.

As a side note, the picture I posted is my favorite Cubs logo. It came about in the early 20th century and was the team's logo into at least the 30s or 40s. What amuses me about it is how the bear is holding the bat. They could have gone all cartoony and silly and dressed a bear in a uniform and made it look like he was about to swing, but they didn't. That's the way a bear would actually hold a bat- his opposable thumb-less paws trying desperately to hold it against his body. I can imagine the design meeting:

GARY: Whaddya think of this, Marty? I've got a bear that thinks he's people! Big smile on his face, wearing a Cubs uniform, at the plate, taking a big bopper swing! Hachacha!
MARTY: Wait just a minute here, somethin' ain't right. No, no, no, this is all wrong! A bear can't hold a bat like that, Gary! It's madness, absolute poppycock! People want reality, you go draw me a real bear or you're fired, see?

Oh Marty, such a stickler for realism.

Speaking of national nightmares, the writer's strike has finally ended. People go back to work today and new shows should be on the air by April at the latest. Now when I'm writing without being paid, people will just assume that I'm lousy and talentless, not on strike. Oh well.

Cheers,
Eli

Not Much to Report

Ok, nothing big going on yet, and it's been a pretty dull week, overall. I just think it's funny that when you click on the names of a city on Yahoo's "Most Miserable Places to Live" list, you are taken to the Yahoo Real Estate listings for that city. They say there's no such thing as bad publicity, but I think that that list is pretty close.

Self Mutilation Starts At Home

I DIdn't Need It Anyway
Originally uploaded by EliCubs

I was cutting my vegetable sticks (carrots and celery) for the week on Sunday and I apparently decided that I should include a small piece of my thumb in the mix. Using a crinkle cut knife (it makes the carrots look pretty), my hand slipped and I took a pretty deep chunk out of the old hitchhiker's tool. I clipped a slice out of my tack pushing device. I took a divot out of old Jack Horner's plum detector. I hacked a corner out of diminutive Tom's reference of size. I dug a hole into the digit that makes it possible to utilize my nose in snubbing something. I...have taken this far enough. I'm running out of "thumb" phrases and synonyms for "cutting a piece off of." FYI- "took a divot out" probably comes closest to what the injury actually looks like.

Honestly, the actual act of cutting didn't hurt that much. I think it was over so quickly that it never quite registered. However, when I think about it now, I think, "Man, I don't think I'd be able to handle that kind of pain," blissfully ignoring the fact that I already have. Frankly, thinking about the whole thing makes me a little woozy. I think I feel worse remembering it than I actually did when it happened. Bizarre.

What's fascinating me now is how something like this heals. It's not like a simple cut that can be stitched together and heal up. There's a whole chunk of skin missing (be thankful I'm wearing the band-aid in the picture). How does the body do that? If I left the band-aid off and just stared at the wound for a while (several days) would I be able to watch it close up? Could I take a cool time lapse video of the process for YouTube? And how does the body know what to do? Are there cells that get called in to repair the damage? How do they know? I just don't get how the human body works sometimes. I remember being frustrated in college biology because there wasn't adequate explanation for how every part of the cell knew what to do. At the same time, I was terrified that if just a few of my cells forgot how to do what they were supposed to do I could be dead in a matter of minutes. I guess I just don't get it.

Anyway, it looks like things are starting to heal a bit, and all should be well. I should be back being able to give full approval (instead of just half) to movies in an Ebertian way in no time. And I promise, no more stupid thumb jokes for a while.

Cheers,
Eli

I'm a dork

So, MTV posted this picture from the new Indiana Jones movie, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. First, let me just say that Harrison Ford looks pretty damn good for his age. I was half expecting pictures from this movie to come out and look like my grandpa in a fedora and leather jacket. Nope. He still looks like Indiana Jones, just a little more grizzled. Very promising.

What's more important in this picture is the location. Indy appears to be in the government warehouse from the end of Raiders. Is he looking for the Ark? Has this Crystal Skull been handled by "top men?" (Who? Top...men). Seriously, just the prospect of what this could mean is exciting to me because I'm such a dork. And no one had to explain this picture to me. I saw Indy on the crates and I knew the implications. It made me pee a little. I'm just stupidly giddy.

Now, the title of the movie is a little awkward. I kinda like it, but it's not the best title I've ever heard. Of course, the new James Bond movie is called Quantum of Solace, so I guess it could be a hell of a lot worse.

Cheers,
Eli