Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Self Mutilation Starts At Home

I DIdn't Need It Anyway
Originally uploaded by EliCubs
I was cutting my vegetable sticks (carrots and celery) for the week on Sunday and I apparently decided that I should include a small piece of my thumb in the mix. Using a crinkle cut knife (it makes the carrots look pretty), my hand slipped and I took a pretty deep chunk out of the old hitchhiker's tool. I clipped a slice out of my tack pushing device. I took a divot out of old Jack Horner's plum detector. I hacked a corner out of diminutive Tom's reference of size. I dug a hole into the digit that makes it possible to utilize my nose in snubbing something. I...have taken this far enough. I'm running out of "thumb" phrases and synonyms for "cutting a piece off of." FYI- "took a divot out" probably comes closest to what the injury actually looks like.

Honestly, the actual act of cutting didn't hurt that much. I think it was over so quickly that it never quite registered. However, when I think about it now, I think, "Man, I don't think I'd be able to handle that kind of pain," blissfully ignoring the fact that I already have. Frankly, thinking about the whole thing makes me a little woozy. I think I feel worse remembering it than I actually did when it happened. Bizarre.

What's fascinating me now is how something like this heals. It's not like a simple cut that can be stitched together and heal up. There's a whole chunk of skin missing (be thankful I'm wearing the band-aid in the picture). How does the body do that? If I left the band-aid off and just stared at the wound for a while (several days) would I be able to watch it close up? Could I take a cool time lapse video of the process for YouTube? And how does the body know what to do? Are there cells that get called in to repair the damage? How do they know? I just don't get how the human body works sometimes. I remember being frustrated in college biology because there wasn't adequate explanation for how every part of the cell knew what to do. At the same time, I was terrified that if just a few of my cells forgot how to do what they were supposed to do I could be dead in a matter of minutes. I guess I just don't get it.

Anyway, it looks like things are starting to heal a bit, and all should be well. I should be back being able to give full approval (instead of just half) to movies in an Ebertian way in no time. And I promise, no more stupid thumb jokes for a while.


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