Thursday, July 19, 2007

Barry Bonds is a Giant Headed Coward

I'm sitting here watching the Cubs play the Giants on my computer, and I have just watched Barry Bonds hit his second home run of the game. This puts him at 753* home runs, only 2* shy of Hank Aaron. And I'm pissed. I said it in the title and I'll say it again here: Barry Bonds is a God-Damned Coward.
I base this opinion on a lot of things. I'll start with the less obvious reason. This is the fourth game of a four game series against the Cubs. It is also the first time Barry has been in the lineup for the series. "Coincidentally," the Cubs' starting pitcher was Ted Lilly, whom Bonds has hit two home runs off of in the past. Barry hadn't had any success against the previous Cubs pitchers in the series, so he conveniently managed to have a leg injury for the first 3 games. Now he's miraculously better because he's facing an "easier" pitcher. That's just chicken shit. You don't get to pick the pitchers you get to face. Play the game like a man instead of hiding in the dugout, scared that you might not get a home run this game.
Then there's the big thing: the steroids. Deny it all you want, Barry, nobody's fooled. Not even a little. The press is praising you to avoid any slander lawsuits from your lawyers and your fellow players won't say anything because of the so-called "dugout code." But the fans, except for the nimrods in San Francisco who would support their team if they were playing with aluminum bats, aren't fooled. You can claim that you've never tested positive, but that's not the point. Baseball's tests were never good in the past, and besides, you're implicated with a company whose sole purpose was to find steroids that couldn't be detected. The fact that you've never been caught just means you can afford better steroids than the common man. It's as plain as the zits on your back and the face on your giant head that you're juicing. Man up and admit to it.
And that leads me to another point- you weren't good before you started taking steroids, Barry, you were GREAT. If you had never inject horse hormones into your ass, we'd still be talking about you as one of the greatest, if not THE greatest, players to play the game. But that wasn't enough for you. You were too scared that someone might hit more home runs than you so you turned to steroids. You already had everything and you decided that it wasn't enough. You were always a jerk, but I could deal with that. You became a criminal and a cheater, and that's not cool. What kind of message are you sending to kids, especially African-American kids? "The only way you succeed is if you play dirty, kids, so break the law as long as it helps you out."
Which brings us to another issue- race. You hide behind the race card every chance you get. "People don't want me to break the home run record because I'm black." That's pure bullshit and cowardice. People didn't want Hank Aaron to break the home run record because he was black. He got hate mail everyday, probably 90% of it racially motivated. He received death threats and had every right to be scared for his life. But he went out there and played the game and broke the record honestly. Hank Aaron is an American hero. The fact that you would try to use race as an excuse is an insult to Hammerin' Hank and to black people everywhere. I'm sure there have been a couple of racist nut jobs sending you hate mail, but you can't even compare what you're going through to what he went through. I'm proud to call Hank Aaron a home run king. I'm embarrassed to even acknowledge I watch the sport you play, Mr. Bonds. Hank didn't choose to be black, you chose to take steroids. You want to know why people don't like you? Own up and admit it's because you're a cheater and an asshole. Using the race excuse is the path of a weak man.
I suppose there's no avoiding the fact that Barry Bonds will break the home run record, and probably very soon. Although I'm willing to guess that once you tie the record that mysterious leg injury will flare up again and persist until you're back in the safety and stupidity of San Francisco. God forbid you have to break the record in front of people who don't love you. Go to hell, Barry Bonds. I hope someone jumps the wall of the stadium and smacks you in your bad knee with a baseball bat.

1 comment:

  1. The race argument in this one is the funniest thing I've ever heard. It was a legitimate argument for Aaron, based on the hate mail he got, but I just can't imagine too many white people out there are THAT upset about a black guy breaking another black guy's record. If it were Ken Griffey Jr going for it, the media/fan reaction would be very different indeed.