Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Bathroom in My Office

Ok, folks, I don't have much to talk about today. But, I made a promise that I would post regularly (hopefully every day) and I intend to keep it. Actually, looking over my previous posts, I never got around to making that promise out loud, but it was in my head so it still counts.
Anyway, I am hear today to talk to you about the bathroom in my office. My office is in Editorial Building 2. The bathroom is in Editorial Building 1. To get to said bathroom, I must first stand up and go out of my office door. Then, I go down a hallway and go through another door that takes me outside. I cross over an elevated outdoor walkway and enter Editorial 1 through another door. Then, I take a right and pass through a swinging door which opens into...another swinging door. Then, and only then, can I use the bathroom. That's five doors to get into the bathroom here. Six if I have to go into one of the stalls. For your convenience, I drew up this map (Note: I used an ancient version of Photoshop and an ancient rollerball mouse to make this...plus, I'm no artist). The yellowy color is the outdoors and that happy little blue fella who looks like Evil Otto from Berserk is me.

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Now I'm not an architect or building inspector, but that just seems ridiculous to me. Shouldn't each building have at least 1 bathroom? Why should the lone restroom be shared by two buildings? If any pathogens ever get into the studio water supply, we could have a real mess on our hands.
Also, what's with the twin swinging doors leading into the bathroom itself? It's like an airlock or a decompression chamber or something. Am I supposed to wait for the door behind me to close before I open the door in front of me? And the airlock is pretty tiny, the door barely swings all the way open without hitting whomever is opening it in the face. I just don't get it. One more thing. This bathroom is on the second floor of the building. There are no elevators, ramps, or lifts or anything leading to the second floor. So why is there a handicapped stall in this bathroom? It would be virtually impossible to maneuver a wheelchair into this bathroom, so what's the purpose? Are we just giving fat people more room to feel comfortable, or do these fancy Hollywood types just like to feel like they're important so they get more room to poop? Damn it, I tried to get through this post without using the word "poop" and I couldn't do it. Oh well, poop poop poop. Speaking of which, after all this blogging, I have to go make a trip through six doors...

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